The Tough Conversations we all MUST have !!

There are times in life when we must have tough conversations, difficult discussions that we dread. These talks could be confessing something we have done that might hurt a loved one, talking to someone about a behavior we are concerned about, or sharing the mistakes of our past. What makes this so difficult is we are taking a chance and we don’t know the outcome.  It is a risk when we have these discussions because it may change a relationship,  we may not get a job we are seeking, or there may be consequences that are undesirable. But in my opinion it is best to be honest because when we walk in truth we walk in freedom.  I have had to have many tough conversations , in my early life I just avoided them until anger or frustration built up and I exploded saying words I didn’t mean or not being honest about my past because I feared rejection.  Now I take the risk  understanding that the outcome might not be what I want but knowing it is the best to be walk in truth. I tried to pass this on to my children as well because they have seen the redemption and change in my life. Since the death of Alexis I have become friends with a lot of young adults so I thought this might speak to them. There were two instances where Alexis rose to the occasion and had those tough talks.  They have been on my mind so thought I would share them with you.

Alexis held two records at Wylie High School: )) One was for the most tardies and the other was for the most consecutive days in ISS (this title was achieved when she was VERY  pregnant for hitting a girl in the cafeteria and pouring a Dr. Pepper over her head ! I can’t tell you the number of times I would get a text that said “Mom, I’m in big trouble I hit someone but they deserved it “ and I would reply “ Alexis you have to quit hitting people there are more appropriate and LEGAL ways to deal with conflict”   Alexis was a fighter in every sense of the word !  She had such spunk.  From the time she was a toddler I just knew that the traits she possessed that were so difficult for us as parents were the ones that would set her apart. She had such inner strength and vulnerability at the same time it was a beautiful combination. I just knew God had big plans ………………………………………and HE did they just weren’t the plans I thought HE had)

But today I want to talk about the tardy record and how that led to a tough conversation.  Because Alexis had so many tardies , SHE ALWAYS HAD FRIDAY NIGHT SCHOOL !! ( I’m sure she had a record for that as well : ))) Friday night school was a given the only question was if it was a two hour sentence or a four hour one. Each Friday I knew I would need to pick her up at around 6 or around 8. One Friday about 5 o’clock I received a call from Alexis saying she would be home shortly, that surprisingly they didn’t pick her up for Friday night school.  Warning bells started going off in my head and I began to question her. (She was never a good liar, I could usually hear the lies in her voice ). Her next story was they came and got her for Friday Night School but they let her go. I knew that was nonsense and I asked her to tell me the truth,  she finally did.  Here was her version.

As the day neared the end on that Friday afternoon the students sentenced  to Friday Night School were taken out of class and put in a holding room where they were counted and attendance was taken. The next step was to be transferred to the class room designated for the punishment. This is where Alexis planned her escape. When the supervisor left the room, which left the students unattended for a brief moment, Alexis climbed into a cabinet and pulled the doors shut, she fit perfectly. Shortly after she hid the students were taken from that room leaving Alexis behind  in the cabinet.  She waited a period of time , then climbed  out of the cabinet and left the room running to freedom out of the school. She was never missed . Her great escape was a success until she called me and ultimately confessed. Holding back laughter and a little pride at her cleverness ( the criminal in me was impressed) , I told her she would have to turn herself in and confess to Ms. Morisak on Monday.

The following Monday when I dropped her off I reminded her to have that tough conversation . She reluctantly agreed. I told her to call me after the confession  and waited patiently for the call which finally came, a call from Alexis and a call from the Assistant Principal. Alexis  asked Ms. Morisak if she could talk to her for a moment and sat down and confessed her crime. If I remember correctly even Ms. Morisak had trouble not laughing and was surprised because she didn’t have a clue,  as far as everyone was concerned Alexis was present for Friday Night School !! Alexis was praised for being honest but she was punished for her behavior, as she should have been . Her punishment was more time in ISS. It was a very proud moment for me because she did the right thing even though she knew she would get in more trouble .  Knowing how much she hated ISS I knew this was  an extremely difficult conversation  .  I think she felt proud of herself too. It’s a given you feel better about yourself when you do the right thing even if the right thing gets you in trouble : ))

Now let’s fast forward a couple of years :  Alexis is out of school , struggling , trying to find her way in life. She had completed a Dental Assistant Program through Collin College hoping to find a job but those hopes faded fast as she sent out resume after resume only to be rejected each time. Being a young single mom was tough and without a job she was feeling very discouraged . One night she went to a party and made the mistake of drinking and driving. She got pulled over and arrested for DWI. This was another blow for her but being the fighter she was she never gave up.  Finally last year  a job opportunity with a church presented itself .  It was with the maintenance staff but was good pay with the possibility of benefits and could led to bigger and better things. It was a step in the right direction . As Alexis prepared for the interview she asked me if she should tell them about the DWI .  My response was “ Alexis I know this will be tough but it is best to  be honest: first it is the right thing to do because the application asks if you have ever been arrested and secondly  if you aren’t upfront and honest you will always be looking over your shoulder wondering if they will find out” She began to cry saying  “ But what if I don’t get the job because of this, I need a job so badly “ I just looked at her and said we could pray but that in my opinion she needed  to be honest . There was a chance she wouldn’t be hired because of this but that was a chance she needed to take. Not sure what she would do I drove her to her interview because her license was suspended because of the DWI. I waited outside the church as she ran in for her interview praying it would be a success. About 30 minutes later she returned with a smile of relief on her face.  I asked her what happened.  She had the tough conversation and  told him the truth. He said he admired her for her honesty .  He then told her after he ran her background check  he would be in touch. A few weeks later he called and offered Alexis the job. I’ll never forget the excitement in her voice when she called me saying she got it. This job was a turning point in her life. She felt better about herself, had some money in her pocket,  and saw hope for her future. Plus I believe on some level she felt proud because she had that tough conversation and thankfully it worked out well for her but regardless she KNEW it was the right thing to do. 

The irony that my daughter , who held the record  for being tardy at Wylie High School just a couple of years ago, died speeding to work because she was running late never escapes me. It seems she was always running late for most of her short life but one thing I do know is she arrived in Heaven right on time, God’s timing is always perfect :)

So as I said there are tough conversations that we have to have throughout our lives  and although they’re difficult it is best to gather  up the courage and have them .  The easy path is to not say anything and keep it hidden  but that will only be destructive and eat away at you.  If there is a tough conversation that you need to have ask God to give you the words and just do it,  but do it with love and gentleness whether it’s owning up to something you’ve done, talking to someone that you’re concerned about ,or even sharing the gospel with someone who is resistant . Ask God to lead you through it and HE will.

Random thoughts from Alexis' Medical Examiner's Report

Why? , I can honestly say I don't ask Why very often anymore, I used to but now that I'm closer to the Lord I just don't. This is probably because I cling to HIS word and in HIS word it says his thoughts are higher than our thoughts

(ISAIAH 55:9 (NKJV)⁹ “FOR AS THE HEAVENS ARE HIGHER THAN THE EARTH, SO ARE MY WAYS HIGHER THAN YOUR WAYS, AND MY THOUGHTS THAN YOUR THOUGHTS)

 and to not lean on our own understanding.

(PROVERBS 3:5-6 (NKJV)⁵ TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING;⁶ IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM,AND HE SHALL DIRECT^[A] YOUR PATHS).

So I accept what I can't change and look for the good HE will bring from our mistakes, pain, and grief, knowing HE will bring good from what was meant for evil.

(ROMANS 8:28 (NKJV)²⁸ AND WE KNOW THAT ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THOSE WHO LOVE GOD, TO THOSE WHO ARE THE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE) (GENESIS 50:20N (NKJV)²⁰ BUT AS FOR YOU, YOU MEANT EVIL AGAINST ME; BUT GOD MEANT IT FOR GOOD, IN ORDER TO BRING IT ABOUT AS IT IS THIS DAY, TO SAVE MANY PEOPLE ALIVE.)

The reception at the Transplant Services honoring recent donors will be special and I can't wait to see and hopefully meet the ones Alexis helped with her donations at some point. Thankful that the Lord has protected my heart and my mind from the fiery darts of the wicked one. Walking in the love, peace, and compassion that only HE can provide.

With that being said when I get to Heaven I have A LOT of questions I want to ask God and my loved ones. Since Alexis is always on my mind and my baby she will be one of the first I want to question. Here will be my number one question, let me give you a little background:

When I got the Medical Examiners report it was really hard to read (literally because there were so many words that were not part of my vocabulary and figuratively because I was reading about the violent death of my 20 year old daughter ) but surprisingly parts of this report made me smile even laugh because it was SO Alexis :)) I have attached a photo of part of the report, someday I will talk about the rest : ((

 

As you can see it lists what was submitted separately : a left shoe ( the matching one I just put away ), jeans, socks,and the following cut away items hoodie, brassiere, t shirt, and TWO PAIRS OF UNDERWEAR. The two pairs of underwear made me laugh out loud : ))) so that will be my first question to my Rosebud when I enter those pearly gates “ Why were you wearing two pairs of underwear? “ She is still making me laugh, even in her death. I love her and miss her so. Who would have ever thought the M.E. report could make me laugh and smile, but it did. God is so good and HE knew I needed a smile as I read the most devastating report I could ever read. Only HE could do that. As has become common I am laughing through my tears and still wondering “ Why was she wearing two pairs of underwear” I’ll get that answer when I get to Heaven: ) Until then I will just smile and laugh at the memories of my funny, funny girl.

Alexis : Fighter, Defender, Protector

Alexis was always a fighter, ALWAYS. There were times when she was younger that she got really ill and we weren’t sure what the outcome would be. At the time I didn’t realize how serious these situations were. The first was on Feb. 8, 1993. Alexis was almost a year old and this was actually my due date with Sammy.  Alexis had been sick with a cold and I called the pediatrician to get a refill on her cough medicine. As I was talking to the nurse she could hear Alexis in the background and said I needed to bring her in. When I arrived at the doctor’s office on that cold February afternoon I was ushered to back without having to wait. This VIP treatment alarmed me somewhat but I wasn’t really worried about Alex, she was laughing and playing between coughs. The doctor rushed in and put her stethoscope to Alexis’ chest and asked me how long she had been this way and I said for a couple of days. She called in the nurse and had her do a breathing treatment immediately and said this was a critical situation and we needed to get Alexis to the hospital immediately. I was in shock because from all outward appearances Alexis seemed fine other than the cough and the doctor was acting if she was on the verge of death. I began to cry as the doctor called the hospital to get us a room. Alexis was diagnosed with severe infant asthma and spent a week in the hospital. The respiratory therapist said he had never seen a baby fight like Alexis, She HATED the breathing treatments. He always needed help to give her the treatment and would laugh that he couldn’t hold down this FEISTY baby. After that one critical bout with asthma Alexis never had another episode.( A friend I taught with , who knew Alexis’ strong willed personality even at that young age, said Alexis was just not going to let anyone steal her thunder since I was due with Sammy that day, she was determined to keep the attention on herself : ))))

The next scare in the life of Alexis was when she was about two and developed a lump in her lymph node . It alarmed our pediatrician and we were sent to a surgeon to have the lymph node removed and biopsied. This was a very frightening time because we all were scared that Alexis might have cancer. She pulled through the surgery fine and the biopsy came back benign but it was another scare and we were told to watch her closely. As with the asthma, after this one alarming event she never had another issue with her lymph nodes.

Life went smoothly for a little bit but the next event would prove to be the most traumatic for me but would reflect the fight and strength within Alexis. We were living in Rockwall and I was teaching in Campbell . Alex and Sammy weren’t in school yet and Hailey had just completed second grade when this happened. During the summer of that year Hailey had spent the night with a friend in Campbell and on Saturday I was going to drive to pick her up. Alexis wanted to ride with me but I told her no. She got upset but I stood my ground and went back in the house to finish getting ready. I don’t recall what Sammy and Warner were doing but they must have been around the house somewhere.  A little while later as I was about to leave I went on the porch and looked around for Alexis to say goodbye but didn’t see her. As I turned to go back in to find her I heard a faint although frantic scream. I paused because I couldn’t tell where it was coming from, it appeared to be muffled. I started calling her name but would have to stop and stand completely still to hear her. It was the cries and screams of someone in danger but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. I frantically ran to our shed, I ran to the street, and around the porch screaming her name. I began to cry because I was so scared and couldn’t find her. Her screams were fading, I knew she was in deep trouble but I just couldn’t find her.  I stood on our driveway and concentrated on listening as the whispered screams came one more time. This time it was clearer, I knew I was near. I turned toward my car and walked towards it and heard her better. I grabbed my keys as fast as I could and opened my trunk and there was my baby, screaming for her life, barely breathing. The heat of being stuck in the trunk on that hot July day almost killed her. I picked her up as she gulped in the fresh air through her tears.  We ran in the house and I got a damp cool washcloth and started to wash her sweating face off. As a parent this was my worst moment until Alexis actually died. The fear I felt knowing how close I was to losing her.  She was about to pass out and I know God’s timing was perfect. She didn’t like that I told her “No” so being the strong willed child she was she went through my backseat and “hid” in my trunk. She pulled the seat back to its position so I wouldn’t know. She was going to Campbell with me !!!!  But the seat locked and couldn’t be pushed down from inside the trunk so she was trapped. But she NEVER gave up. What a fighter !!!

These were my thoughts today. I was just thinking how much of a fighter she was. She never lost that fighting spirit and it got her in a lot of trouble at times but I really admired her for that. If you were her family or friend she would defend you to the end : )) I named her well : Alexis means defender or protector and as I looked up the biblical meaning of OWL I found this , which was so very fitting : ))) Heb. bath-haya'anah, "daughter of shouting." Alexis could  certainly shout : ))

There were times I worried about Alexis.  I know it will seem silly but I worried because she was the middle child. Maybe it was because my brother David was a middle child and he committed suicide. Growing up in a dysfunctional alcoholic family I knew the roles  the children  of alcoholics played because I acted out those roles myself :  The oldest being the Hero ( Kathey) , the middle being the Scapegoat ( David), and the youngest being the mascot ( Me). I eventually played all these roles as everyone died.  As I became a drug addict myself those dysfunctional roles invaded my children as well. For some unexplained reason I always had a deep knot of fear about Alexis, I never thought she would commit suicide she was too strong for that but in my irrational thoughts based on my history I was scared something might happen. I didn’t voice it, and I rebuked it , but it was ALWAYS  there . Thinking back maybe it was something I knew deep within my soul .  Maybe in a way God prepared my heart for her  death at such a young age………………………….. I just don’t know but I do know she has made a huge impact in her life and her death. I will cling to that and the knowledge that I will see her one day and she will welcome me into Heaven with open arms when my time comes. As a Facebook friend said “ I think Alexis is on “the welcome committee” in Heaven.

Life is often lived forward but understood backward

“Life is often lived forward but understood backward. Looking back is when we can appreciate the deep valley God allowed.” This statement holds so much truth and really got me to thinking this week.

I hate addiction, just hate it!! It robs people of their joy, their lives, and their loved ones. It is such a powerful tool that Satan uses to destroy. Looking back at my life and the life of my family I understand how he used this. He is such a liar, there is no truth in HIM. But what I’ve come to realize on a new level is :  Addiction is a symptom to a much deeper problem . We must get to the root to get rid of the sympton and  for healing to take place.

Like I said Satan is a liar AND he’s  not very clever BUT he is very persistent.  He uses the same tactics over and over. Once one doesn’t work he will switch to another, his arsenal is full of weapons and if we aren’t alert , standing strong in our LORD and KNOWING his TRUTH , he will get us and that is what happened in my family. Let’s look back.

Not sure when it all started but here are the lies I imagine he began to tell my brother David, I can just hear them because he spoke some of these lies to me as well : “ You’re a loser”, “You will NEVER be as good as your sister Kathey”, “ You’re stupid “,  “ Those glasses and hearing aids make you look ridiculous”, “Your father will never be proud of you”, “ You are a disappointment “, “Because of your hearing loss you will never find someone who really loves you”, “ You are worthless”, “You and everyone else would be better off if you were dead”………………………………… The last one was repeated over and over until David believed it and in hopelessness and despair took his life. Satan won that battle and started in on my parents

I can just imagine the endless taunting  whispers in their ears after their son committed suicide: “This is your fault “, “ This is Dick’s fault”, “This is Rosemary’s fault”  “ You should have loved him more”, “ If you had been a better parent this wouldn’t have happened” “You’re worthless”, “ You’re murderers, even though he killed himself it is like you took the gun and shot him “, “ How could you leave a gun in your home “ “Remember when you yelled at him”, “Remember when you told him he would never amount to anything”, “Remember when he wanted to talk and you didn’t have time”, “ It’s your fault”, “It’s his fault”, “It’s her fault” . All lies where they would blame themselves AND blame each other.  The seeds of bitterness , guilt , and shame took root deeply in their broken hearts.

Then once they were in the depths of despair he whispered “ Drink some more, it will take away the pain”, “Just don’t go home then you won’t have to be in that house where he died”, “Just one more drink”, “Susan is young and won’t noticed anything”, “ Drinking is not bad if you wait until after 5 to drink”, “Drinking’s not bad if you wait until after 3 “,  “ after , 2 , 1,  ……………….”. “Drinking’s not bad , it is the answer “, “Susan will be fine, she is better off without you here “ , “ It’s better to pretend and forget , alcohol will help you forget “.

Then he started in on me “ If you were a good girl , your parents would pay attention to you”, “ You will never be as smart as your sister”, “You don’t matter”, “ You’re not lovable”,  “ It’s your fault they drink because you are such a disappointment”,  “ You don’t measure up”, “ Your dad left because of you”,  “If they loved you they would be there for you“, “It’s all your fault“, “ Everyone would be better off if you were dead “, “Soon everyone will know that no one loves you and know the truth about you“, “You must be evil for them to treat you this way“, "You murdered your mother", "You killed her with your words", "You told her you wished she were dead so she killed herself", "You're horrible", "You're a killer". He repeated these lies over and over and I would put my hands over my ears trying to tune him out but as I said he was persistent and patient.

You see the pattern and the lies he whispered that we all carried and believed. They got worse after mother died, and even worse after Kathey died. After Kathey died he whispered the same lies to me that he did to my parents except he changed tactics and used meth instead of alcohol because I was determined not to be alcoholics like them. His lies worked and I became an addict just like my parents only meth was my drug of choice. Looking back Satan is so predictable but I STILL fell for it.

Then I found the truth and was set free from it all.  Satan still attacks me daily, sometimes hourly with the same tactics only different weapons. Lately the whispers have been “ Remember when you told Alexis she was a loser”, “ Remember  the fights with her and how mean you could be” , “ You were an awful parent to say such things”, “She didn’t feel loved by you“, “She thought you loved Hailey and Sammy more”, “You hurt her so badly”, "You let her down", "You chose drugs over your kids and ruined their lives", "If you hadn't been a drug addict she would have had a better car with better tires", "You should have gotten her new tires", "You're a horrible mother".

The accusations come daily but TODAY I use my sword and fight back with everything within me and sometimes I say it out loud , screaming it when I’m alone in my car: “ I loved Alexis and she knew it, we did fight and it could get ugly but I intentionally showed her I loved her and tried to build her up. When I would slip and lose it I would own it and apologize telling her I was sorry. Although sorry wouldn't change it ,she knew I meant it.  At the end of her life our relationship was healthy and the best it had ever been!  The last time I saw her  we hugged  tightly and told each other we loved each other and it was a wonderful time. More precious now than I could ever imagine.  I ALWAYS  told Alexis  and others  that one day she was going to make a HUGE difference and God was going to use her in a big way.  I knew instinctively that the qualities she possessed that were so difficult at times ( the EXTREMELY strong will, the passion for truth, fairness, and justice ( which led to fights with others: she would hit them in their face : )), the acute discernment ( in which she would always point out my faults and most often rightly so,……………………….) were the qualities I admired most and  knew would set her apart one day. Well I was right about one thing she did make a huge difference and God used her in a big way . God just used her life and her death which I wasn’t prepared for.

So I have been on alert knowing the devil is prowling around just waiting to pounce on me, using circumstances I have no control over to try and wear me down. But he won’t win, I am on to him, and I will stand strong in the Lord and the power of his might.

This came upon my heart because of my hate of the disease of addiction which is a tool used by Satan but as I delved further in thought looking backwards I see it is just a symptom and his most powerful tools seem to be : DISCOURAGEMENT, SELF CONDEMNATION, GUILT, AND SHAME to name a few. So be on alert and if you are having some of the thoughts I described KNOW who they are coming from and cut him off at the root.   GOD LOVES YOU , HE THINKS YOU ARE WONDERFUL NO MATTER WHAT YOU’VE DONE. It is NEVER too late to turn to HIM, HE will always take you back .

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails

Proverbs 16 ⁹ In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps.

Proverbs 19 ²¹ Many are the plans in a man’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails

These scriptures really spoke to me about the recent events that have taken place in my life. To be honest before June 7, 2012 I had made some plans that I was very excited about. All my kids had graduated from high school and were starting their lives as young adults. I felt it was the perfect time for me to pursue my dreams of becoming a public speaker and publishing my book.   I was stepping out into my life as an empty nester. My marriage had been struggling  for years and on Memorial Day I had made the decision to divorce after being separated for almost a year.  I spent Memorial Day with my kids swimming and cooking out. As the day came to an end I told them I was going to go talk to their father about getting a divorce.  They understood but were sad, Alexis was upset and wanted me to wait because she just hated to see her dad sad but I felt it was the right time. Saddened by the end of my 26 year marriage but excited to embrace what the future held I drove to Wylie to talk to my husband .  It was a hard conversation but the kids arrived shortly after and we talked as a family, then I left. It took a lot for me to make that decision but I felt it was what I needed to do.  Change is frightening but I gathered my courage and was stepping out into the unknown. 

Then on June 7^th we lost our Alexis and our worlds were turned upside down.  We came together as a family.  There were so many decisions to make and we were all in such pain but it was clear everyone was looking to me for strength.  Since I had gotten out of prison and proven to my kids that I could be trusted and would stay sober  they looked to me for guidance .  I was their rock so I had to stay strong. Much time was spent in prayer alone and with friends  because I knew where my strength came from and I needed to hear from God what I was to do. I listened, I heard, and I obeyed : I needed to move back to Wylie and raise Riley. We filed for custody of Riley and during that process God placed it upon my heart to adopt her.  Warner and I decided to start that process which we are now in the middle of.

This was not part of the plan that I had  for my life in the last year but it was part of God’s plan.  At times I am struggling as I look at my life and what is ahead. The divorce is off the table because we want to raise Riley together in unity. My husband and I are committed to make this work. There are still issues but I can’t dwell on those. I must accept the things I cannot change and change the things that I can. I can only work on me.  At some point during this time God increased my love for Riley. She needs stability after losing her mother, she needs us both as well as Hailey and Sammy. One remarkable aspect of Alexis’ death is how we have come together.  So  many times with the loss of a child a family becomes fractured and self- destructive but thus far we have pulled together  working toward what is best for Riley. Hailey and Sammy want to honor Alexis through their love for Riley. A lot of that has to do with Riley and our love for her and Alexis. Plus God is the leader of my life and I am leaning on him , depending on him to guide me .

I’m not going to lie though , this new life is somewhat difficult to wrap my head around at times but God has led me into it and softened my heart.  Last April I was with some friends who have a ten year old son and I remember thinking I couldn’t even imagine raising a ten year old but now I have a four year old to raise.  She is in pre-school  and now has 13 more years of school !! At times I am overwhelmed.  My job in new homes sales  has late hours , something I need to think about while raising a 4 year old. But it is my job and has been for the last 6 years.  Questions like  “ can I do this?” invade my thoughts constantly bringing worry and concern to the surface of my mind but then I stop and REMEMBER  God is in control of it all . He will make a way and he will also make a way for me to reach the dreams he planted in my heart. I KNOW it will come to pass, I just don’t know how . What I do know is it isn’t going to happen the way that I thought it was. But what  I believe is it's going to come to pass in a much better way than I can even  imagine and I can’t wait to see what he has in store for our lives. I just need to relax and trust him not trying to figure it all out. He will take care of  ALL of us and it will all be okay .

And as I watch my little angel , who captured my heart from the second she was born,  dance and sing a song of love to her MOMMY  in Heaven, I know I am exactly where I’m supposed to be and that  this is now the plan for my life. A plan I will embrace with all that is within me and be thankful to God  for choosing  me for Riley.

Isaiah 55:8-9

New International Version (NIV)

⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts