My Facebook Family!
Even More Treasures

More to come!

 

What People are Saying

"Susan DeFace Washington is the real deal. She is one of the most powerful, heartwarming, spirit filled speakers we have been blessed to hear. Women of all ages were  blessed by her testimony and her message of hope, forgiveness and God's redeeming love for all people no matter the circumstances in your past or present situation.  We have had many speakers for our Women's Events at First Baptist Church Carrollton and  I can honestly say Susan ranks as one of the most outstanding speakers we have had." 

- Beverly Anderson, Women's Ministry Coorinator for First Baptist Church of Carrollton

 _____________

"I have practiced criminal law for over twenty years, as both a prosecutor and defense attorney, and I have witnessed up-close the devastating consequences of drug addiction. Prison has a way of getting your attention, and yet, I have seen many disingenuous and counterfeit “jailhouse conversions” in desperate attempts to game the system and receive leniency. I can assure you, there is nothing fake or phony about Susan and her relationship with, and devotion to, Jesus Christ.   

Through faith and perseverance, she has found transforming freedom and undeniable peace and purpose. Susan is the real deal and she possesses a compelling life story and inspiring testimony of God’s unconditional love, saving grace and redemptive power."

- Joe Shearin, Criminal Defense Attorney

  _____________ 

We recently had Susan DeFace Washington come and speak at our monthly ladies group at our church. After speaking with Susan to learn more about her story, I couldn’t wait to have her present to our ladies.

When the day finally came, Susan brought her support team, Power Point, and an infectious spirit. Susan was very open and willing to share her story. Her transparency gave us a glimpse into her world that began with pain, lies, and sadness but ends in the victory and joy that can only come from having a relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Her story communicated so many things in such a short time. Her story communicates the power of hope, forgiveness, and how nothing we can do will separate us from the love of Jesus. 


 
____________

"I have had the opportunity to hear Susan DeFace Washington speak on more than one occasion. After hearing her story, all I could think was that it was one of the most courageous testimonies I have ever heard. She is living proof of God’s power and grace."

- Randy Smith of First Baptist Church of Allen

Powered by Squarespace

Search this site

Entries from December 1, 2011 - December 31, 2011

Saturday
Dec312011

God's amazing grace in my life

I received an e-mail through the site from someone requesting my testimony on a CD. I don't have it copied onto a CD but I have a video of me sharing at a First Baptist Church in Allen last spring.  I am including that video in my blog today . Hopefully that will help. Thanks everyone for all your support :) Your comments on my blogs and in my guestbook mean the world to me and are so uplifting. Have a Blessed and Happy New Year.   Susan

Friday
Dec302011

Standing on HIS TRUTH: finally rejecting the lie I believed for so long

For I, declares the LORD, will be a wall of fire around her, and I will be the glory in her midst. Sing for joy and be glad, O daughter of Zion; for behold I am coming and I will dwell in your midst, declares the LORD. As for you also, because of the blood of My covenant with you, I have set your prisoners free from the waterless pit. Return to the stronghold, O prisoners who have the hope; This... very day I am declaring that I will restore double to you.
Zechariah 2:5, 10, 9:11-12

Daughters of Zion
The Lord is in your midst
He has fought all your battles
And He has won victoriously
Even death itself could not stop Him
He bought you from the hand of the enemy
Delivered you from your chains

This brought me such comfort today and really spoke to me confirming that I am the daughter of the Most High, at times I forget that is my identity in Christ !!! There is something that has been on my mind a lot lately and it is something I have never really shared. I have talked about it with a few friends but I didn’t even mention it in my book. For some reason I have always minimized it because it really wasn’t that bad yet it has always bothered me and when I think of it I am brought to tears. Because of the emotion that arises this must be something that God wants me to deal with so I am going to share it because I receive a lot of healing through my writing and being open and transparent. This is not a black or white situation, there are many gray areas of which I have learned can be the most dangerous areas of all. My recollection of this night and the next day are hazy in parts and detailed in others. So I will just share my memory as I recall it.

Let’s go back to my junior year 1978…
It was a school night in the spring of ’78. I came home about 9:30 or 10:00 after hanging out with a boy I liked alot. I was in a really good mood and when I walked in the door got even more excited when I noticed my dad was there. He hadn’t been home in a long time. He was already asleep so I just went into my room to get ready for bed. Mother wasn’t there; I’m not sure where she was. She was either at Doctor’s Hospital in detox or she had gone to visit my sister in Panhandle. All I know is it was a relief that she was gone, it gave me a break from taking care of her and a reprieve of being worried that I would find her dead which was always on my mind. Smiling I put on my pajamas and crawled into bed feeling content.

I think I had dozed off for a bit but was awakened when my door opened and I saw a man standing in my doorway. I was startled at first but then relieved when I recognized who he was, although confused about why he was there. His voice slurred as he said “Hi Susan, how are you doing? you sure look pretty tonight” as he walked over to my bed. My relief turned to puzzlement then to fear as sat on the edge of my bed and started grabbing me. I sat up quickly and asked him what he was doing. He started touching me and I was just so very scared. I could smell alcohol on his breath and if I could recognize anything I could recognize drunkenness, I knew he was very intoxicated. This was someone I trusted and I was shocked at what he was doing. Quickly I rolled the other way and hopped out of bed running into my Daddy’s room. I woke him up telling him his friend was there. My dad talked to him for a minute and told him he needed to go home. After he left I broke down crying telling my dad what happened. It wasn’t that big of deal, it wasn’t like I was sexually assaulted or anything but it was still very disturbing.

The next morning I went to school and I was an emotional wreck. Cheerleading was first period so I didn’t have to be around a lot of people. I didn’t understand why I was so emotional but I couldn’t stop crying . I didn’t tell anyone what happened but I had to leave the school. For some reason I didn’t have my car that day and as I was crying in the Student Center I ran into Leah . She was concerned about me and gave me her keys so I could leave and try to get myself together. Driving her red Vega I went home to an empty house and walked into my bedroom. As sobs racked my body I fell onto my bed shaking. It still amazes me how upset I got because nothing really happened, I was out of the bed before he could do anything . He had barely touched me but I was violated none the less because I trusted him and he violated me in my home where he had access because he had a key.

After awhile my phone rang, ( I can picture the princess touch tone phone that sat on my nightstand, I can even remember my phone number: 327-0890 was my private line and 327-5606 was my parents’ line. I was very privileged in many ways with gifts and material possessions lavished upon me but what I wanted most, really needed most, was attention, love, and affection and sadly I don’t remember receiving those especially in those later years )

It was my dad was calling, I don’t know how he knew I was home but he did. He kept saying “You’re okay.” He said “He( our friend) was just drunk and would never do anything like that sober. You just need to not think about this and you will be fine.” !!” My dad kept justifying what our family friend had done. Basically he was telling me to pretend it didn’t happen , that was the way my family dealt with everything. So I just took a deep breath wiping away my tears and went back to school pretending nothing happened and reminding myself that it wasn’t that bad because he barely touched me.
The memory still makes me cry and that surprises me but I think what hurts the most was my dad’s reaction. I needed him to be my defender and protector that day standing up for his little girl but he laid it all down because he didn’t want to have that tough conversation with his friend. His silence on the matter spoke volumes to me that day. I already believed that I was alone, unloved, unworthy, and damaged. His reaction that day just made me believe the lie even more.

One thing I have always been grateful for is that my dad was there, I am not sure what would have happened if I had been alone. The man was very drunk but he was also a very large man and I just don’t know………so in some ways my Dad was my protector that night ,just by his presence and of course I know God was watching over me too.

 

Wednesday
Dec282011

Proverbs 16: 33 We may throw the dice,but the LORD determines how they fall.

The other day I heard from a dear friend of mine who was excited about my website and my book. She is a very sweet girl and her message took me back to how we became acquainted years ago. I am a firm believer in God’s Sovereignty over all aspects of our lives so I know our connection was not by chance but part of the Lord’s master plan. Proverbs 16: 33 We may throw the dice,[a]but the LORD determines how they fall.

Let’s go back to September 2006, this was the first time I ever shared or spoke publically. I was only speaking for 5-10 minutes but in that time I would share with my church that I was a recovering drug addict and had been to prison for the first time. I was so nervous but the Lord was with me directing my steps. After sharing I was embraced by the congregation, I was overwhelmed by the kindness and acceptance I received. This was a true picture of what church should be, I did not experience any judgment. I received more hugs that day than in my entire life. It was at New Hope Christian Church in Wylie and God did some amazing things through that service two of which I heard about later . 

That evening Kerri and Dan Jenson stopped by my house to tell me something that had happened after the service that day.

(Dan and Kerri are the parents of Alex Jensen who died tragically in a snow skiing accident on December 28, 2004, his death as tragic and heartbreaking as it was led me and many others to the Lord! (I just realized today is the anniversary of his death) I will be forever grateful for the impact the Jensen’s have had on my life and God certainly brought good from this tragic situation. Romans 8: 28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[m] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them)

Dan told me that after the service a man they didn’t know walked up to them and said he had just stopped by the church, he had not planned on it but he drove by and stopped. He had just been released from prison for drug charges and had just buried his father the day before. As he was talking to Dan he pulled out a baggie containing drugs. He had planned on getting high but after the service decided to destroy his drugs. Dan then prayed for him. I don’t know what happened to that man after that day and I don’t know if anyone else does but I was so blessed to hear that story of how God worked through my mistakes and failures to help someone else. It was so very powerful!!!

The next thing that happened resulted in a lasting friendship and relationship that I cherish. This letter says it all and I am so thankful to Rebecca for writing it and sharing her pain and healing with me and letting me share it with others. God is quite amazing. As I have said before I believe when we get to Heaven we will meet many people whose lives we have touched and didn’t even realize it. We will each have our own “It’s a Wonderful Life” experience. I have been so blessed to have that experience in this lifetime and I am so very thankful for the relationships I have developed which have all been part of God’s master plan. Here is the special letter I received from Rebecca, I love her so and am so proud of her:)

My road to recovery started one Sunday night in September 2006. I had missed church that morning because I had went with my Father instead. I had been attending New Hope, in Wylie every Sunday for a couple of months at this point. It had become something that I desperately needed to attend to get through the week. New Hope had started posting their sermons on-line for people to listen to. I decided to get on-line and catch up on the sermon that I had missed. I was surprised at how emotional I had gotten from this service. I honestly do not know how I would have held up if I was at church that morning. I would have needed extra tissue for sure.

Susan had shared her testimony that day at church. I did not know Susan at the time I heard her on-line but I knew that I had to meet her. At this point in my life, I was using drugs and had come to a point that I needed change in my life. I was worn down emotionally and physically and I was only 23. I was dealing with issuses of divorce, rape, law suits, a bad break-up and had been working at a gentleman's club since I was 17. For five or six years I had dealt with a lot. From the outside I always looked strong but I was very hurt inside. I did not know what I was going to do, but I did know that drugs could not and would not be an option for me anymore. It started out just drinking and I had turned to hard drugs as an escape from my problems. This only caused more problems and I had become a person that I hated. I was having frequent car wrecks. I was getting traffic tickets that I was not taking care of and the list goes on. It was just getting worse every day.

Listening to Susan's story made my problems seem so small. Our problems and pasts were different but same in the way that in which we coped with our problems. I had been through and dealt with more than a lot of people my age. I thought that if there was hope for Susan, there was hope for me. Within a few weeks I had a friend at church introduce me to Susan. I told her that I listened to her story and that she was awesome. To see her smile and for her to know that her past helped me was awesome. I ended up going to Susan's hometeam through church and opening up about my life and sharing things that I normally would keep to myself. I listened to her and loved how open and honest she was. I was so comfortable with that group of people. Nothing I said would have made them judge me in a bad way. I talked about Susan pretty much everyday to anyone who would listen. I even burned the sermon onto a CD and I would make evryone listen. If they did not want to listen, they did anyway. I still have that same CD to this day.

It was about one week after I heard Susan's testimony that I stopped using drugs and I have been clean ever since. I know that Susan's story was just the first step to my recovery. Three months later my Mother was diagnosed with inflamatory breast cancer. She fought for almost three years before the cancer took her life. If I had not heard Susan's testimony and had her influence in my life and turned to God I do not know if I would have handled the death of my Mother as well as I did. I honestly do not even have words to describe how much Susan really has helped me. When I feel like I am backsliding in my faith, I have to stop and remember where I was just five years ago. It is easy to sometimes forget the good things that we have done to overcome the evil of our pasts. Susan is doing more and more to spread the word of God to help people. Even the women in prison get to hear her story. I am very thankful that I never had to meet her there. I could have easily gone in that direction. Those women are so lucky to have Susan in their life and to hear her story. Susan is such a strong, loving and beautiful person inside and out. Her drug addiction is her past and that is what made her into the beautiful person that she is today. I love her very much.

Rebecca Burns

Monday
Dec262011

Before Tattoo on Body, Tattoo on Mind

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale relates this story from his book, Power of the Plus Factor:

 ”Once walking through the twisted little streets of Kowloon in Hong Kong, I came upon a tattoo studio. In the window were displayed samples of the tattoos available."

"On the chest or arms you could have tattooed an anchor or flag or mermaid or whatever. But what struck me with force were three words that could be tattooed on one’s flesh, 'Born to Lose'."

“I entered the shop in astonishment and, pointing to those words, asked the Chinese tattoo artist, “Does anyone really have that terrible phrase, Born to Lose, tattooed on his body?”

He replied, “Yes, sometimes.”

“But,” I said, “I just can’t believe that anyone in his right mind would do that.”

“The Chinese man simply tapped his forehead and in broken English said, ‘Before tattoo on body, tattoo on mind.’”

This story made such an impression on me because it is so true , our thoughts are so important. Every action and feeling is preceded by a thought. And our thoughts are determined by what we put into our mind, what we say to ourselves and can be affected by what others say to us if we let it.

I was talking with a friend about the importance of what we watch, what we listen to, and what we read, etc. Many people take great care into what they eat or drink so they will be physically healthy, the same should be done about what we allow to go into our mind. Some of what we put into our mind  we have complete control over , it is just a choice we must make. We choose what to watch, listen to, and to read. But when we are dealing with other people who speak into our lives it may be more difficult to control because we are dealing with people and it gets so very complicated ……………………

As I have shared before  I  went to live with my dad after I got out of rehab and  he would get very drunk and throw vodka on me and tell me he wished I would  have died instead of Kathey because Kathey would have never embarrassed him the way I did. He would say I had ruined my life and  look at me with such disgust.  He would tell me I was fat and ugly and that he couldn’t believe I had let myself go like I did. That memory still brings tears to my eyes. His words were tattooed on my mind and I believed them, I felt like such a loser and I just wanted to give up. This happened many times and I can picture it perfectly: My Dad and I sitting at his dining table in the kitchen nook with MASH playing on the TV (it was his favorite show) and out of the blue he would throw his drink on me and the verbal lashing would begin. I was weak and would just take it, I didn’t think I had a choice so I just sat there drenched in vodka and believed his words. You tend to believe what you hear over and over.

The same can be said about what we speak to other people. Do we use our words to build up or tear down? Like with our kids do we only focus on what they do wrong? I know I have been guilty of that and it breaks my heart because I know they will remember vividly when I have been critical of them because I remember the criticism I just shared.. I know my dad didn’t mean it , he lashed out in his pain and for some reason I was his target,  but the pain is still as real and it hurts as much today. It doesn’t take away the pain that the words were said in anger and drunkenness, the words were still said.

Our words are so powerful. My last words to my mother were “get  the  #$@*  out of my room, I wish you were dead , I hate you !!!!“ I didn’t mean it, I was just so angry and I could see the hurt on her face but at the time I didn’t care. And then she died. I never got to say I was sorry. I have forgiven myself and because of that experience I try to be very careful with my words because sometimes you don’t have a chance to take them back or apologize.

What is sad even with those two tragic experiences with my mom and dad , I have still at times used words to tear my kids down or no words at all. I have said awful, mean things to my kids in anger. And sometimes I have noticed something positive my kids have done  and didn’t speak to it at all.

I am going to change that.  My goal today and for the New Year is to use my words to build  up my kids as well as others.  I am really good at building others up but I can be so hard on my kids and I love them the most. Isn’t that the most ironic thing……that the ones we love the most we can treat the worst. I am going to work on that and look for the potential in my kids because there is so much and speak to that !!!

 

Friday
Dec232011

Here I am Send Me


Isaiah 6 :8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!

 

It has been a powerful week for me with so many blessings but it is also somewhat bittersweet. I miss my family. It is during the holidays that I feel the loneliest although I am surrounded by wonderful friends and my children. I think of Christmas’ past : memories of times with Kathey are the most prevalent in my mind. 

 

Holidays are just hard for many of us as we miss those who have passed on but I CHOOSE to be joyful and so very THANKFUL for all that the Lord has done for me and for the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ.

 

Thinking of that is overwhelming. My greatest desire is to be the hands and feet of Jesus and show others HIS love because of what he has done for me. There is always HOPE, ALWAYS!!!! And I want others to know that and experience the love of Jesus. The words of this song sung by Ollie Raper says it better than anything.

 

Chorus:

 

You're the only Jesus that some will ever see 
And you're the only words of life, some will ever read 

 

So let them see in you the One in whom is all they'll ever need 

 

'Cause you're the only Jesus, some will ever see 

 

Verse: 
And if not you, I wonder who, will show them love, 
And love alone can make things new? 

 

If not from you, how will they learn 
there’s one who'll trade their hopelessness and give joy in return?

 

This takes me back to the blessing I received this week which was the greatest gift of all. Not too long ago I was contacted and asked to pray for someone who had relapsed on cocaine after 6 years clean. They had disappeared and been gone for a couple of weeks. My heart was broken for them and their family. I began praying immediately and asked for their phone number so I could try and contact them. That day I started calling and texting. I would send scriptures that the Lord had placed on my heart, encouragement, love, and support.

 

Finally the person called me back in tears and desperation but not ready to surrender. I never QUIT texting and calling and I never changed my attitude. At times I thought I should be harsh maybe because it appeared what I was doing was not working but I just couldn’t . My attitude was I am here for you whenever you are ready: I love you and accept you just where you are. My hopes were dwindling for this situation because there had been no change. We would talk each day with a promise being made to call me back later but then I would hear nothing. But something within me, I am sure it was God working through me, would not let me give up. 

 

Finally one Thursday as I was driving to work I was talking to my new friend, because we were friends now, and it was going in the same direction…………… Nowhere. So I finally said “let’s do it different today PLEASE tell me where you are so I can send someone to get you, You aren’t thinking clearly, let me think for you. I understand how you feel, I was there hopeless in a motel room not too long ago also. Please let me help you, you are worth it.

 

After a long hesitation my new friend told me where they were and I immediately called someone to go get them, later that afternoon they checked into Methodist Richardson. I could led them there because I had just been there visiting another person struggling with addiction a few weeks earlier.

 

I love God and I love that he used me, my heart was joyous over this but there was more to come ……….. On my birthday I rolled out my new website and as I shared earlier I can be emailed through the site. I got an email from my new friend’s adult son. I want to share parts of this letter. This is the Greatest Gift of All, to see the fruit of God in Action :) 

 

Susan,

 

I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I greatly appreciate you being there and never giving up on him through the month of November. He always mentioned you, your daily support and encouragement and how he knew you cared about him every time he would finally answer his cell phone after I would repeatedly text and call his phone every day for hours at a time. Thank you for STAYING by his side and letting him know there are people that won't give up on him and will remain by his side. I know he is so greatly appreciative as am I. Always remember that as you continue your journey of inspiration you not only will inspire others but will encourage them to "Pay it Forward" so they can have an everlasting effect on the lives of others and their loved ones!!!

 

I wish you the best of luck in everything you do!!!

 

This brings tears to my eyes and this is what it is all about. God will use us if we let him . As it says in Isaiah 6 :8 8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!

 

That is what I will continue to say.

 

I have been more blessed by this experience than anyone and I am so thankful God used me :)

 

And I could comfort my new friend because I had been through the same thing and had been comforted by God.
New Living Translation (©2007)

 

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.