Before Tattoo on Body, Tattoo on Mind
Susan WashingtonDr. Norman Vincent Peale relates this story from his book, Power of the Plus Factor:
”Once walking through the twisted little streets of Kowloon in Hong Kong, I came upon a tattoo studio. In the window were displayed samples of the tattoos available."
"On the chest or arms you could have tattooed an anchor or flag or mermaid or whatever. But what struck me with force were three words that could be tattooed on one’s flesh, 'Born to Lose'."
“I entered the shop in astonishment and, pointing to those words, asked the Chinese tattoo artist, “Does anyone really have that terrible phrase, Born to Lose, tattooed on his body?”
He replied, “Yes, sometimes.”
“But,” I said, “I just can’t believe that anyone in his right mind would do that.”
“The Chinese man simply tapped his forehead and in broken English said, ‘Before tattoo on body, tattoo on mind.’”
This story made such an impression on me because it is so true , our thoughts are so important. Every action and feeling is preceded by a thought. And our thoughts are determined by what we put into our mind, what we say to ourselves and can be affected by what others say to us if we let it.
I was talking with a friend about the importance of what we watch, what we listen to, and what we read, etc. Many people take great care into what they eat or drink so they will be physically healthy, the same should be done about what we allow to go into our mind. Some of what we put into our mind we have complete control over , it is just a choice we must make. We choose what to watch, listen to, and to read. But when we are dealing with other people who speak into our lives it may be more difficult to control because we are dealing with people and it gets so very complicated ……………………
As I have shared before I went to live with my dad after I got out of rehab and he would get very drunk and throw vodka on me and tell me he wished I would have died instead of Kathey because Kathey would have never embarrassed him the way I did. He would say I had ruined my life and look at me with such disgust. He would tell me I was fat and ugly and that he couldn’t believe I had let myself go like I did. That memory still brings tears to my eyes. His words were tattooed on my mind and I believed them, I felt like such a loser and I just wanted to give up. This happened many times and I can picture it perfectly: My Dad and I sitting at his dining table in the kitchen nook with MASH playing on the TV (it was his favorite show) and out of the blue he would throw his drink on me and the verbal lashing would begin. I was weak and would just take it, I didn’t think I had a choice so I just sat there drenched in vodka and believed his words. You tend to believe what you hear over and over.
The same can be said about what we speak to other people. Do we use our words to build up or tear down? Like with our kids do we only focus on what they do wrong? I know I have been guilty of that and it breaks my heart because I know they will remember vividly when I have been critical of them because I remember the criticism I just shared.. I know my dad didn’t mean it , he lashed out in his pain and for some reason I was his target, but the pain is still as real and it hurts as much today. It doesn’t take away the pain that the words were said in anger and drunkenness, the words were still said.
Our words are so powerful. My last words to my mother were “get the #$@* out of my room, I wish you were dead , I hate you !!!!“ I didn’t mean it, I was just so angry and I could see the hurt on her face but at the time I didn’t care. And then she died. I never got to say I was sorry. I have forgiven myself and because of that experience I try to be very careful with my words because sometimes you don’t have a chance to take them back or apologize.
What is sad even with those two tragic experiences with my mom and dad , I have still at times used words to tear my kids down or no words at all. I have said awful, mean things to my kids in anger. And sometimes I have noticed something positive my kids have done and didn’t speak to it at all.
I am going to change that. My goal today and for the New Year is to use my words to build up my kids as well as others. I am really good at building others up but I can be so hard on my kids and I love them the most. Isn’t that the most ironic thing……that the ones we love the most we can treat the worst. I am going to work on that and look for the potential in my kids because there is so much and speak to that !!!
Reader Comments (5)
Such true words! We say things without thinking, yet still knowing how deep they can cut. You must forgive yourself for saying it, and then ask forgiveness from the one the the words were spoken to. We can only try and take each day one at a time, always striving to be better. God sees, hears and knows this! Always!
Very well said Susan and so very true. I will work on my wording with people also! Thank You so much.
Darkened days are lit by you, Susan. You so unselfishly give your time, your love, to those that are suffering. The world is a better place because of you. Truly, you are medicine for the soul. Love, Karla
Yay! We need to do more for our kids. We BUY them video games, smart phones and more - but what they really need doesn't cost a dime - relationships that build their character.
While my heart is breaking for what you endured, I am again in awe of how you learn & perceive things. You have taken something unbelievably painful & wrong and used that
to help yourself & others. The ability to change someone's day, or life just by caring &
being kind. I love you, Susan, and I thank God for you daily.