Titus 3 5 He saved us because of his mercy, not because of any good things we did.

Titus 3 ⁵ He saved us because of his mercy, not because of any good things we did.

I love it when God speaks to me in powerful ways teaching me powerful lessons. One of the most prevailing lessons he taught me was on small compromises and I shared that when I spoke using the scripture  from Song of Songs 2 : Catch for us the foxes,
the little foxes that ruin the vineyards,  our vineyards that are in bloom. That was a life altering moment and changed the trajectory of my life, I know that with all of my heart . I wanted to share another  lesson God showed me and AGAIN  he used my criminal history to do it just as he did with the lesson on small compromises. He sure knows how to get my attention : ))

Before that life changing night in a small group when my eyes and heart were finally opened to the truth about Jesus I believed I would go to Heaven because I was , or thought I was, a good person. I was nice, compassionate, and caring  so I thought my destination was secure.  After that night God showed me something incredible. He took me back to when I was in Rockwall County waiting to go to court on my probation revocation. I wrote a letter to the judge sharing all I had been through and telling him I was a really good person hoping that might have an effect on my sentence and that he may be more lenient. It didn’t work , I didn’t think it was fair but I really had no say in the matter. I went to prison and served my time, it didn’t matter that I was good or had some tragic things happen. I did the crime so I did my time.

Anyhow God took me back to that time and I had a dream that I was standing in front of the judge again pleading my case begging for mercy but it wasn’t the Rockwall County Judge this time. It was God and I was standing before HIM as he sat in the judgment seat pleading my case telling him all the good things I had done but again it didn’t matter. The Bible is clear on this our salvation has nothing to do with good works  in  John 14 ⁵ Thomas said, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” ⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. The only way to the Father is through me.

Our  God is a loving God but he is also a  just God and HE has been very clear. There are consequences to our choices and he has given us free will and it is our choice whether to accept Jesus Christ as our Savior or not . He is the only way to the Father. Our salvation is not secure because we do good things .

You know I had a lot of tough things happen in my life and it was very hard, it probably isn’t surprising I turned to drugs but the key word is I turned and then I got caught. It didn’t matter that I had a tough life, there were consequences for my crime and they were just. God is not a respecter of persons , He is a just God.

That was a very powerful picture for me to see . I was so very thankful that I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior before my time was up . Thanking God for his amazing grace in my life and that my time wasn’t up before I made the choice that gave me eternal life because if I hadn’t I would be standing before God and he would probably agree that I did many good things but just like when I broke the law the consequence was prison , the consequence for not receiving Jesus is death where when you choose HIM you have eternal life. It is so simple and has nothing to do with being good. Thankful I made that choice that has given me eternal life and because of that I will be reunited with Alexis again. That brings me hope. And what is really cool is once I accepted  HIM and he began working in my life I wanted to be a better person , I wanted to be like Jesus . It is amazing how it all works .

Part Three of my testimony - July 15, 2012

Here is part three of my testimony :) I know it is available on the church website as well. The parts I have posted are the second service and the one New Hope posted was the first. There is a difference not much of one but they are different. I'm not sure why. I prayed really hard before each service for God to speak through me and my words to fall to the ground.

So what I like to think is what I said was what I was suppose to say to each audience. I love sharing my hope and I think the greatest part is at the end when people come up to me sharing their struggles believing I can relate to them in a way, trusting me. I remember being in the audience of speakers when I was very young in my sobriety and christian walk wondering if I could ever get up there and speak to a crowd, wondering if I would have anything to say. I am amazed at where God has brought me. I hope you enjoy :)))

Susan DeFace Washington's transformational testimony at New Hope Church in Wylie, TX

Part Two of Three of my testimony :) New Hope July 15, 2012

Here is part two of three from Sunday when I shared my testimony at New Hope Christian Church in Wylie, Texas. If you missed part one it is attached to the blog right before this. I am continually in awe of God and how I feel his presence right now. He loves me and I know that without at doubt. My faith is so strong and although I don't "see" him I  KNOW he is surrounding me and comforting me right now. I am so thankful for Riley , she is so precious . Yesterday as we were praying she said "Jesus , thank you for taking care of Momma and I'm happy she is in Heaven with you. I wish she could come back here but I know she can't ( she swallowed hard at this point) then she smiled and said "Amen". She is so sweet.

Later she asked me , again, about Hailey being her new Mommy and that she will now be a big sister to Kendall but she said when we all get to Heaven would Momma ( Alexis) be her momma again and I didn't know what to say so I said they would both be her Momma and that seemed to make her happy. I am trying to meet the insecurity that she feels and it breaks my heart because I know she is so scared. BUT I know without a doubt she is surrounded by love and my dear friend Patti had a vision where she saw two angels, strong protective angels, guarding Riley. That brings me such peace.

I know God is with her. Well of course I do because Riley told me she asked God if she could go to Heaven and see Momma and he told her it wasn't time yet. Feeling the peace that only he can provide. I hope you enjoy part two of my story and I will post part three next. When we turn to God and surrender our lives to him he restores, reconciles, and redeems. That is so apparent in my life .

Susan DeFace Washington's transformational testimony at New Hope Church in Wylie, TX 

Part Three can be found here

Part One of my testimony - July 15,2012 New Hope :)

Yesterday was a very powerful day for me. Not only did I celebrate 10 years clean off meth , alcohol, and every other drug I also shared my testimony at my home church. It was an amazing day and  the largest crowd I have ever spoken to. I just want to share it on my blog.

I see the many blessings God has bestowed upon me and HE has given me beauty for ashes . I see that even in the midst of the sorrow I feel from losing my daughter. I know I've said it before but I am amazed by his power in my life. It is because of my relationship with HIM that I have hope right now.

I miss Alexis terribly but I know he will bring good from it and I will be reunited with her. My testimony is in three parts and I just wanted to share it with you. Here is part one :)) God Bless You :))) 

Susan DeFace Washington's transformational testimony at New Hope Church in Wylie Texas

Part Two can be found here.

Alexis' Last Journal Entry 2/22/12 ( 7 days before her 20th birthday)

This is the last entry from Alexis' journal. I love that the last one was full of happiness and she was thinking about a career. I could tell her self confidence was growing by leaps and bounds in those last months. There was a bright light in her gorgeous green eyes. You could see her hope  in the way she was living her life. She still made mistakes but we all do and it seemed that in those last months if she messed up she would own it and try to do better. I was very impressed with that . It is hard to admit your mistakes and failures at any age but especially when you are only 20 but she was doing just that and I was and am incredibly proud.  I tried to let her know how proud I was of her.

 All I know is she had hope and was excited about her life. When we hung out on June 5th she was so excited about the coming weekend: she was doing some of her community service and had a date to the races.  She was finally in a place where she could see beyond the consequences of her legal trouble. She had almost completed her punishment. I remember thinking what a gift that was because when I got sent to rehab for 6 months back in 2001 I couldn't see past the sentence. It seemed endless to me and it was only 6 months. Alexis was living her life one day at a time.

 My advice to her each time we talked was not to look at ALL she had to get done because that would be overwhelming, look at one task at a time then look back and see all she had accomplished. Her accomplished list was getting quite long. I just know she was happy.

I am still so incredibly sad but trusting God. Yesterday I was in Brookshires buying groceries and without thinking I went and grabbed some Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pockets and went to the next isle. Suddenly it dawned on me that Alexis was the only one who liked Hot Pockets, no one else ate them and I began to cry a little as I went to put them back. I know I will have many more moments like that but I will do what I did at Brookshires, cry if I need to and continue to move forward taking one step at a time and if I need to rest I will rest knowing God will carry me the rest of the way. He loves me that much. That is what I know more than anything is that he loves me. Feeling his embrace during my most painful times brings healing to my broken heart.