Riley and the Dandelion : ))

There was an amazing God moment this morning where Riley was concerned. I’m sure you are all shocked :)  As we pulled up to Jenn’s I went and let her out of the car, she looked down at the grass and sadly said there are no dandelions but immediately she cheered up as she noticed some little purple flowers in the grass. As we walked to the door she asked me “Did my Mommy go to a babysitter?” and I told her yes she did. Then laughing she asked “Did my Mommy ever wear her pajamas to the babysitter like me?” because Riley was still in her PJ’S wrapped up in her owl blanket.  Smiling I pulled her to me and said yes that even sometimes her Mommy got dressed in the car because she was always running so late.  We knocked on the door and Jenn told me she had to tell me something about how God had spoken to her and it had to do with Riley, dandelions, and Alexis. I was floored because Riley had just spoken about dandelions and for the VERY FIRST TIME she asked me questions about Alexis as a child but I needed to go to work so Jenn said she would text me. Below is the jest of this encounter. Just yesterday as I was praying for my friend Shannon and her Husband Chris I noticed one of her friends had a picture of a dandelion as their profile picture which led me to look at the photo Alexis took of Riley trying to blow the dandelion with all her might.  Here is how this all unfolded with God’s amazing GRACE.  I love him so.

From Jenn:

 Riley and the Dandelion

One day we were walking on our way home from school. Riley picked a dandelion. I watched her blow it & a few pieces blew away. She blew again with all her might, but some wouldn't budge. Riley said,"Jenn! Will you help me?!" , in her kind of bossy Riley way.: )) Holding the flower up very seriously. I said, “Sure." while blowing the other pieces away. She said, “I wish my mommy back." Holding her eyes shut tight. Then got quiet for a minute and said, “God loves me...I'm a flower and I'm going to bloom." It was like something she had heard  and just repeated. She said it with certainty...I about fell apart... Riley then said "Jenn will you keep my flower?"  and then she smiled and ran on playing with the kids like nothing just happened. It was a definite wow God moment. The truth she just knows never ceases to amaze me. She is amazing, because she knows God's love for her. That's something that takes some a lifetime to "get".

More confirmation from God about Riley and the Dandelion : ))

From Jenn again : ))

I was looking up a tattoo image & found this blog this girl posted after a loss. The tattoo image was arrows with dandelion ends. It was Amazing. What dandelions represent is just too cool. I thought of Roo & how God has spoken so much to me through her. Hopefully this makes sense.

That God will be true to His word when He says that He will never leave me or forsake me (Deut. 31:6)

 That God will work all things together for my good (Romans 8:28).

 That God will give me beauty for my ashes (Isaiah 61:3).

 That God will turn our grief into joy (John 16:19-22).

 That my present suffering won’t even compare to the glory that will be revealed in me (Romans 8:18).

 That I will get to see her beautiful face again (2 Cor. 5:8)!!

 That this is not the end but only the beginning; and that “each chapter will be better than the one before” (The Last Battle- CS Lewis).

The significance and a few facts about the dandelion:  

Each head on a dandelion can produce anywhere from 60-100 seeds.

The Dandelion starts out as a yellow flower and then changes into the fluffy flower we are all familiar with. It is constantly changing and evolving.

The dandelion is considered beneficial to other plants because its root will bring up nutrients for shallower rooting plants, and adds minerals and nitrogen to the soil.

It will grow and thrive in some of the most inhospitable environments, whereas many other plants cannot survive.

How does that relate to my experience with Riley ? Even though the dandelion is considered a weed, it always produces seeds that bring forth a beautiful flower.

God will always produce something beautiful from our weeds! He’s in the business of making all things beautiful (Eccl. 3:11)!!! He will use our horrible loss to make something so incredibly magnificent!! He will produce more seeds from this than we can ever imagine (Eph. 3:20)!!

Riley Roo is in a great environment, but losing your mom is extremely inhospitable and some people are just a mess forever, but God is blooming her beautifully. He is speaking to her & comforting her. She is amazing because she knows God's love for her. (:

I just love that Jenn takes care of my Roo . Riley and I are so very blessed : ))

“Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.” Albert Einstein

“The probability of a certain set of circumstances coming together in a meaningful (or tragic) way is so low that it simply cannot be considered mere coincidence. ”
― V.C. King

Yesterday something amazing happened and I know it was orchestrated by God. As I share this encounter let me give you a little background first. After Alexis died I became Facebook friends with a lot of new people. Some were friends of A...lexis , Sammy , and Hailey but some were strangers who heard about the accident .
Shannon falls into the latter category. She is a hair stylist at Legacy Salons. Right after Alexis died one of her clients came in to get their hair done. This woman had driven by the cross and had seen Alexis’ name. She googled it to find out what happened and was led to my website www.pomponstoprison.com and read my blogs. She told Shannon about the story. That night Shannon read every blog I had ever written. She reached out to me and we became Facebook friends. Every now and then we would message or comment but that was the extent of our relationship.
In October when I was going to Austin to speak I couldn’t get in to my salon to get my hair colored because they are now closed on Tuesdays so I called Shannon and asked her what the best over the counter product was, she told me to just come in and she would style my hair. So I did and we met for the first time becoming personal friends : ))) During this past Christmas Season , after Jennifer Davis put the Christmas tree by the cross , Shannon and her 4 year old son Liam went to decorate it. My heart was so touched. I have since started going to her to get my hair done because she can work around my crazy schedule . Even my daughter Hailey has started going to Shannon as well . Shannon is awesome and it is close to Hailey’s apartment.
Shannon is part of my ministry team now : )) I have an appointment set for April 16 to get my hair highlighted and to FINALLY get Riley’s hair evened up . We scheduled this because I am speaking in Corinth on April 21. That is the background and how our lives became intertwined.
Let’s fast forward to yesterday . I am at The Medical Center of Plano welcoming my Wesley Alexander into this beautiful world, it was a morning of joy helping to blot out the painful memories from June 7. As we were waiting for Shelby to be moved into her room from recovery I get a message from Shannon. It came from her mother’s Facebook account, we are now friends as well. She told me she was on the third floor in Neurology ICU and said she needed me. I told her I would be right down. This is a big hospital but it turned out I had to take a few steps and go down the elevator and I was almost there. I walked down to a waiting room and greeted her whole family then she came rushing into my arms with tears streaming down her face barely able to speak. Her husband was injured at work on Thursday night. He works on oil rigs and a hose with a metal nozzle fell from 100 feet hitting him on the head. He was wearing his helmet but still fell breaking vertebrae and shifting his spinal cord. His brain was bleeding as well. He was rushed to the hospital where he was put into a medically induced coma so there could be no more injury to the spinal cord. It was horrific. I immediately began to pray for her , Chris, and her family. I had to leave for work but told her I would return that evening.
Last night after visiting Sammy, Shelby, and Wesley I went to see Shannon. They had been move downstairs to the surgical waiting from and Chris was in surgery where they were putting in a Titanium rod with screws in his back to secure his spinal column. There were many friends and family there to support her. I went in and sat for a while and Shannon was trying to explain how we became friends. At that point she began to cry telling them how much I and my story meant to her. How my writing is an inspiration to her. It was hard to explain it all so I ended up sharing my testimony of how wonderful our God is and how he has Restored and Redeemed my life. It was a beautiful evening.
When I left work last night I never thought I would be sharing like that to a room full of anxious, frightened strangers who were trying not to give into panic, people that needed hope. People that needed to hear a story of hope. But I was prepared because I knew how it felt to sit in a room in that hospital and not know how things were going to turn out. I drew upon my experience of losing Alexis to share God’s peace and my story. It was just beautiful. I left a little while later and as I walked down the hall to the exit I was overwhelmed by God’s love and concern for those hurting. So very thankful he used me .
Chris made it out of surgery and even moved his toes. They are now waiting for him to wake up. Prayers for this family are greatly appreciated as there is a long road ahead. God is the master and he orchestrated every moment of this , knowing that I would need Shannon and she would need me. It is awesome how he works. My heart is broken that she has to walk this road but I am thankful God put me in her life to take her hand and walk it with her the best that I can . Like it has been said : Life is lived forward but often understood backward . I see his purpose now, at least part of it . I’m sure HIS plans are much larger than I can imagine Our God is an AWESOME God !!!

Owl Always Love You !!!

Owls have come to represent Alexis. Before Alexis died when I heard about an owl I thought of Charlie the owl on The New Zoo Revue and I didn't really like him, I identified more with Freddy the frog. ( I can still sing the theme song to... that show:))) I have people from near and far tell me when they see or hear an owl they think of her and our family. Even one friend heard the hoot of an Owl the morning of her death thinking at the time it was strange to hear an owl in the light of day, she lives across the street from the crash site.

My Facebook has been covered with owls since her death : there have been owls made out of fruit, coffee, and trees . There have also been barn owls and the majestic snowy owl. I think the snowy owl is one of my favorites. It is gorgeous plus the name Snowy reminds me of a character in one of my favorite books called The Cheerleader that my friends and I read countless times throughout high school . Snowy was a blonde cheerleader , I was Snowy.

Yesterday a friend posted a gorgeous Snowy Owl in flight on my page . One of her friends said it was very rare for this owl to come this far south but one was spotted here last year . That piqued my curiosity so I googled it and a Snowy Owl was spotted at Lake Ray Hubbard last Feb. What I found was posted Feb. 29, 2012 . This was the first one on the Dallas area since like 1960. I just found it ironic that this very rare occurrence was posted on her last birthday and was spotted very near a place where we lived . We lived at Chandlers landing on Ray Hubbard. It is just strange how I was led to all this . I don't know......

It reminded me of a conversation a young man told me he had with Alexis . They were discussing death and she said she knew how she would die and he asked how . Laughing she said in a car wreck , just look at my car. She was joking but I wonder if on some level if she knew. One of her favorite quotes referred to being afraid she didn't have enough time.

As I said I don't know but I find comfort in the fact that a majestic snowy owl made a very rare appearance near us around her last birthday and how I was led to this knowledge. She loved owls so very much. God knew she didn't have much time left and maybe Alexis had some idea as well . All I know is God is in control knowing our future and we are in the palm of his hand. Resting in his peace knowing HE is in control even if the outcomes are devastating , he has a plan and will bring good from every tragedy and will bring comfort in the most unconventional ways. Who would have ever thought a rare visit from an owl last Feb. would provide peace to me today. I just love how HE operates .

 

 

 

Trials in this life can be mercies in disguise

As I was getting ready this morning I noticed the remaining bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash that belonged to Alexis. Slowly we are running out of the bath items that belonged to her. As I looked at one of the almost empty bottles  a wave sadness came over me because at some point there won’t be any left. And that devastates me.  For some reason it reminds me of the photo in the movie ‘Back to the Future’ where the children are disappearing from the family photo because Michael J Fox’s character, Marty McFly, altered the future .  As with that photo items that were used by Alexis are slowly disappearing and it is as if I am losing her all over again. There is such finality in it.  That was my mindset as I shook and smelled the almost empty bottles , but then God spoke to me and I had a huge revelation about HIS AMAZING GRACE. 

Right before Alexis died my car broke down on 75. It was a major breakdown as I had blown a head gasket and it was going to be very expensive to fix . Many of my Facebook friends knew of this and were praying for me as this misfortune unfolded. What makes me recall this is after Alexis died I had three different people message me saying they had been praying for me that morning and what had prompted them to pray was the issue of my car. They were shocked when I posted about the death of my daughter.  They said I had been on their heart and I believe  there were probably others as well  that had been praying for me BEFORE Alexis died. 

Then I thought of our omniscient God that knows what is to come in all of our lives because our future is a memory to him.   Laura Story’s song ‘Blessings’ has a line  that has always spoken to me :“What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise".  I now believe the trial of my car blowing a head gasket was a blessing from God revealing HIS mercy because he knew what was about to happen to me. Through the trial of my car many began to lift me up in prayer and as the car situation worsened people prayed more. I believe on the morning of Alexis’ death MANY were praying for me, releasing God’s power over me not knowing I was about to experience the worst tragedy of my life.  I now know I was covered with prayer and that is how I made it through that day.  My dear friend Jill Crowe, who is an anchor in my life, told me she was in shock that day because of all that happened.  She met me at the hospital  and was on her way before she  knew the outcome . She said what stunned her the most was my reaction and how I handled myself in the midst of the grief of losing my daughter, my child.  God’s heart was reflected  because so many were already praying  releasing HIS power over and through me even BEFORE she died, even BEFORE the accident. I could literally feel HIS presence and HIS love as I grabbed Sammy’s hands and looked deep into his eyes telling him we were going to be okay, we were going to make it through this. That was GOD working through me to comfort my baby, God took over that day.

I never thought of it like that before , how the power of prayer was so relevant that day. It was an amazing revelation. I have handled tragic situations before without falling apart,  like finding my mother’s body, but at that time I felt as if I were about to explode, I was not okay by any means. The day Alexis died God was holding me up , he was my strength.   Losing one of my children was the worst tragedy imaginable to me. I remember on Memorial Day, just 10 days before she died,  thinking I have lost so many but I haven’t lost a child and I am so thankful for that  because that would be the hardest loss of all. I was right.  God knew that and He knew I  needed people praying for me .  He used my broken car to place me on the hearts of those who care for me.  He used my broken car for my good because HE knew my heart was about to be broken.  He is an awesome and amazing  God .

Medical Center of Plano- A spiritual shift

Each time I have gone to Medical Center of Plano I have entered the emergency room doors but gone straight to Labor and Delivery where Shelby has been. But  each time I've glanced over trying to remember the sequence of events the morning of June 7 , so recently I went back . It was important to me because I am not one to avoid things or to shrink back with fear now. I approached a woman in admittance and told her my daughter died in June and I wanted to revisit where we were. I began to cry and she walked me back. I sat in the consultation room where I learned the news and I went to the room where I saw Alexis Rose Washington. It was hard but I did it and some healing and closure took place. I love it when I'm brave , at one time I had no courage. I know where my strength comes from , it comes from the Lord.

 The room they sent me when I arrived at the ER to see Alexis on June 7

The couch I was sitting on when they informed me of her death 

Where I went to see Alexis , she was laying on this bed. She looked so peaceful . I just thought they might be wrong, I wanted to beg them to make sure but I didn't.