Please SLOW DOWN - It may save your life !!!

*** Warning **** Some pictures are graphic and may be disturbing .

 Owl from Riley on my rearview mirror. It always reminds me to slow down

Last night I watched Erin Brockovich which was another one of Alexis’ favorites when she was younger. She liked older movies: Practical Magic, Cast Away, Erin Brockovich, and  Where the Heart Is? As I watched it I just thought of her and how she told me when she got older she wanted to help people like Erin Brockovich did or she always said she wanted to be like the mom on  “Judging Amy”  which was a CPS worker. These were sweet memories of her. Later I was scrolling thorugh Facebook and I read a sad story about a mother and daughter killed by a drunk driver , seeing the aftermath of the wreck  and the mangled cars made an impact as the ending of the story begged “Don’t drink and drive” .

My greatest hope has been for good to come from Alexis’ death both spiritually and practically so I want to share some things and beg you to slow down. Slow down in every area of your life. Like the old saying or song says “Slow down and smell the roses” How appropriate for my Alexis Rose.

Speed was a major factor in her death. The fact that it was raining and the roads were slick contributed as well. The Bible is God’s  Living Word and I believe it with my whole heart and soul so I know that before time began HE knew she would die that day (Psalm 139 : 16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out  before a single day had passed.)  But HE didn’t want that , HIS  heart breaks as ours does when we lose a loved one tragically but we live in a fallen world and bad stuff happens as a result of that but we can  AND SHOULD learn from the bad things that happen just like we learn from the Bible (Romans 15:4  Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God's promises to be fulfilled.).

So what I have learned is to slow down and appreciate the things that really matter trying not to get caught up in the stuff that doesn’t . And not only to slow down figuratively but to literally slow down, now if I am late I am late. When I start to panic because I am running behind and put my pedal to the metal these pictures come to my mind and I immediately slow down.

 

Not only do I picture the mangled car but I see  her shoe, her phone, her purse, and her GPS that guided her everywhere because she was so directionally challenged.

 And I think of those who depend on me now so I slow down because I don’t want to take a chance that isn’t worth it. That is what I have learned from Alexis Rose Washington’s death and I hope you will too. Please slow down you aren’t invincible. I remember someone writing after Alexis died “ This shouldn’t happen to you . You were so strong and overcame everything. You were Alexis (____fill inthe blank ____) Washington” But it did happen to her , she was not invincible and her life was gone in a flash, in a second. One second she was here the next gone . PLEASE SLOW DOWN  IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!!!!!

Diamonds in the Rough

This is my wedding ring. I got this ring after I got out of prison. To be honest I don’t know what happened to my original wedding ring.  It  really doesn’t surprise me because my drug addiction robbed me of  most  all my possessions.  When I got out of prison I had some clothes left but everything else was gone. It was really quite sad because most everything I owned and mementos from my childhood were at my father’s house and  that was foreclosed upon when he was in the hospital.  EVERYTHING was taken, most of it was stolen. He was in the hospital and I was locked up when his house was emptied and there was nothing I could do about it but accept it and move forward.

A year or so after I got out of prison my husband bought me this ring, I picked it out. There were two things that I liked about it : it reminded me of my mother /grandmother’s wedding ring that disappeared with everything else and  the fact that this ring had five diamonds. In my mind the five diamonds represented Warner, Hailey, Alexis, Sammy, and I. We had all been under enormous pressure much like a diamond.   A diamond is just carbon (essentially the same thing as charcoal) in a very concentrated form. Yet, when mined, cut, and polished, it becomes the most precious gemstone in the world. As we try to imagine the extreme temperature and pressure under which diamonds are formed, it brings to mind the fiery trials which children of God must undergo to develop true godly character.  1 Peter 1:6-7 describes the beautiful outcome of being tested by God’s fire:  “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

 The conditions of high pressure and temperature way beneath the Earth’s crust must be ideal for carbon to form into diamond. Slightly less than this, we end up with graphite (a soft black mineral) instead of the extremely hard, clear crystal we know as a  diamond. That’s why we have to be willing to endure the pain of trials and godly discipline if we want God’s character to be perfected in us. James puts it this way:  “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” (Jas. 1:2-4).

We had all made it through a very difficult trial and we were reunited as a family. In my mind that ring represented that. We had made it, we were strong.  I didn’t really know God then but I knew we all had been tested , refined, strengthened, and polished during those difficult times.

I wore the ring with love but things got harder , disappointments set in, promises were broken, and more pain came our way  but still we were standing strong with our face against the wind determined to put one foot in front of the other.

Last spring I looked down at my wedding ring and noticed one of the diamonds were missing so I took it off and put it away , not really sure what I would do or where my life was going. My kids were grown and  beginning to make it on their own. My marriage was struggling to say the least, the ring sat in my pink Betsy Johnson watch box  and I forgot about it until last night when Riley wanted to use that pink box to put her owl stamps in. I took the ring out of the box and looked at it remembering the meaning I had attached to the 5 diamonds but now there were only four. One is gone , much like Alexis, and there is a hole where it used to be as there is a hole in our hearts for Alexis.  I decided to wear my ring again . There are four perfectly good diamonds and even if it looks a little funny it doesn’t matter. That ring is a symbol of a commitment and I am committed to my family , I am all in.  Maybe one day  I will find another diamond that will fit in my ring but it doesn’t really matter because nothing could ever replace the original diamond ,now gone, I will just be extra careful with the remaining diamonds. They are all precious to me.

A dear friend of mine wrote this to me the day Alexis died which tied all of this together :

Susan as your life has been that of a diamond. A million pounds of pressure for a million years to make a diamond and you surly are one. My heart goes out to you. You truly have strength and heart. You are far more than the little girl next door that I remember.

Time- Past, Present,Future: Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.

One thing that is so difficult for me is referring to Alexis in the past tense, there are times I struggle with how I say things : I have three kids or I had three kids but now I have two, I have a brother and sister or I had a brother and sister. I just stumble and always have but it is a lot more emotional where Alexis is concerned. There is such a heaviness right now because Sammy just turned 20 and he and Alexis would have both been 20 for 17 days then she would have  turned  21 :  but now she will always be 20, forever young. There is no present or future for her on this earth.  The rest of us will grow older. Not sure why this bothers me so because it didn’t after the rest of my family passed away. Although I did think of  the concept of time  where my mother was concerned especially  when I had spent more time on this earth without my mother than with her.  So with that being said  I believe one thing I will love about Heaven is that there will be no tenses ( past , present , future ) anymore especially past (at least I think so ). I don't think there will be Today, Tomorrow, or Yesterday.  The Lord does not count time as we do. He is above and outside of the sphere of time. God sees all of eternity’s past and eternity’s future. The time that passes on earth is of no consequence from God’s timeless perspective. A second is no different from an eon; a billion years pass like seconds to the eternal God. Because of our finite minds, we can only grasp the concept of God’s timeless in part. And in so doing, we describe Him as a God without a beginning or end, eternal, infinite, everlasting, etc. Psalm 90:2 declares, “From everlasting to everlasting You are God”. He always was and always will be.

2 Peter 3:8

8 But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and ta thousand years as one day.

Psalm 90:

4  For a thousand years in your sight are but as  yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.

It is comforting to know that in Heaven my relationships with my family will not be affected by our earthly relationship with time. When we are all reunited it will seem like only a blink of an eye has passed and there will be no  past tense because we will be together with all our loved ones again : ))) The Bible tells me so J

1 Thessalonians

15-18 And then this: We can tell you with complete confidence—we have the Master’s word on it—that when the Master comes again to get us, those of us who are still alive will not get a jump on the dead and leave them behind. In actual fact, they’ll be ahead of us. The Master himself will give the command. Archangel thunder! God’s trumpet blast! He’ll come down from heaven and the dead in Christ will rise—they’ll go first. Then the rest of us who are still alive at the time will be caught up with them into the clouds to meet the Master. Oh, we’ll be walking on air! And then there will be one huge family reunion with the Master. So reassure one another with these words.