Diamonds in the Rough
Susan Washington
This is my wedding ring. I got this ring after I got out of prison. To be honest I don’t know what happened to my original wedding ring. It really doesn’t surprise me because my drug addiction robbed me of most all my possessions. When I got out of prison I had some clothes left but everything else was gone. It was really quite sad because most everything I owned and mementos from my childhood were at my father’s house and that was foreclosed upon when he was in the hospital. EVERYTHING was taken, most of it was stolen. He was in the hospital and I was locked up when his house was emptied and there was nothing I could do about it but accept it and move forward.
A year or so after I got out of prison my husband bought me this ring, I picked it out. There were two things that I liked about it : it reminded me of my mother /grandmother’s wedding ring that disappeared with everything else and the fact that this ring had five diamonds. In my mind the five diamonds represented Warner, Hailey, Alexis, Sammy, and I. We had all been under enormous pressure much like a diamond. A diamond is just carbon (essentially the same thing as charcoal) in a very concentrated form. Yet, when mined, cut, and polished, it becomes the most precious gemstone in the world. As we try to imagine the extreme temperature and pressure under which diamonds are formed, it brings to mind the fiery trials which children of God must undergo to develop true godly character. 1 Peter 1:6-7 describes the beautiful outcome of being tested by God’s fire: “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”
The conditions of high pressure and temperature way beneath the Earth’s crust must be ideal for carbon to form into diamond. Slightly less than this, we end up with graphite (a soft black mineral) instead of the extremely hard, clear crystal we know as a diamond. That’s why we have to be willing to endure the pain of trials and godly discipline if we want God’s character to be perfected in us. James puts it this way: “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” (Jas. 1:2-4).
We had all made it through a very difficult trial and we were reunited as a family. In my mind that ring represented that. We had made it, we were strong. I didn’t really know God then but I knew we all had been tested , refined, strengthened, and polished during those difficult times.
I wore the ring with love but things got harder , disappointments set in, promises were broken, and more pain came our way but still we were standing strong with our face against the wind determined to put one foot in front of the other.
Last spring I looked down at my wedding ring and noticed one of the diamonds were missing so I took it off and put it away , not really sure what I would do or where my life was going. My kids were grown and beginning to make it on their own. My marriage was struggling to say the least, the ring sat in my pink Betsy Johnson watch box and I forgot about it until last night when Riley wanted to use that pink box to put her owl stamps in. I took the ring out of the box and looked at it remembering the meaning I had attached to the 5 diamonds but now there were only four. One is gone , much like Alexis, and there is a hole where it used to be as there is a hole in our hearts for Alexis. I decided to wear my ring again . There are four perfectly good diamonds and even if it looks a little funny it doesn’t matter. That ring is a symbol of a commitment and I am committed to my family , I am all in. Maybe one day I will find another diamond that will fit in my ring but it doesn’t really matter because nothing could ever replace the original diamond ,now gone, I will just be extra careful with the remaining diamonds. They are all precious to me.
A dear friend of mine wrote this to me the day Alexis died which tied all of this together :
Susan as your life has been that of a diamond. A million pounds of pressure for a million years to make a diamond and you surly are one. My heart goes out to you. You truly have strength and heart. You are far more than the little girl next door that I remember.
Reader Comments (1)
This is such a beautifully written entry Susan. Thank you for letting us into so many of the meaningful moments of your life. You have an uncanny ability to wrap together a huge life lesson with these moments of your life and teach us through these gently guided posts. I am so grateful for you.