Random thoughts from Alexis' Medical Examiner's Report

Why? , I can honestly say I don't ask Why very often anymore, I used to but now that I'm closer to the Lord I just don't. This is probably because I cling to HIS word and in HIS word it says his thoughts are higher than our thoughts

(ISAIAH 55:9 (NKJV)⁹ “FOR AS THE HEAVENS ARE HIGHER THAN THE EARTH, SO ARE MY WAYS HIGHER THAN YOUR WAYS, AND MY THOUGHTS THAN YOUR THOUGHTS)

 and to not lean on our own understanding.

(PROVERBS 3:5-6 (NKJV)⁵ TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING;⁶ IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM,AND HE SHALL DIRECT^[A] YOUR PATHS).

So I accept what I can't change and look for the good HE will bring from our mistakes, pain, and grief, knowing HE will bring good from what was meant for evil.

(ROMANS 8:28 (NKJV)²⁸ AND WE KNOW THAT ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THOSE WHO LOVE GOD, TO THOSE WHO ARE THE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE) (GENESIS 50:20N (NKJV)²⁰ BUT AS FOR YOU, YOU MEANT EVIL AGAINST ME; BUT GOD MEANT IT FOR GOOD, IN ORDER TO BRING IT ABOUT AS IT IS THIS DAY, TO SAVE MANY PEOPLE ALIVE.)

The reception at the Transplant Services honoring recent donors will be special and I can't wait to see and hopefully meet the ones Alexis helped with her donations at some point. Thankful that the Lord has protected my heart and my mind from the fiery darts of the wicked one. Walking in the love, peace, and compassion that only HE can provide.

With that being said when I get to Heaven I have A LOT of questions I want to ask God and my loved ones. Since Alexis is always on my mind and my baby she will be one of the first I want to question. Here will be my number one question, let me give you a little background:

When I got the Medical Examiners report it was really hard to read (literally because there were so many words that were not part of my vocabulary and figuratively because I was reading about the violent death of my 20 year old daughter ) but surprisingly parts of this report made me smile even laugh because it was SO Alexis :)) I have attached a photo of part of the report, someday I will talk about the rest : ((

 

As you can see it lists what was submitted separately : a left shoe ( the matching one I just put away ), jeans, socks,and the following cut away items hoodie, brassiere, t shirt, and TWO PAIRS OF UNDERWEAR. The two pairs of underwear made me laugh out loud : ))) so that will be my first question to my Rosebud when I enter those pearly gates “ Why were you wearing two pairs of underwear? “ She is still making me laugh, even in her death. I love her and miss her so. Who would have ever thought the M.E. report could make me laugh and smile, but it did. God is so good and HE knew I needed a smile as I read the most devastating report I could ever read. Only HE could do that. As has become common I am laughing through my tears and still wondering “ Why was she wearing two pairs of underwear” I’ll get that answer when I get to Heaven: ) Until then I will just smile and laugh at the memories of my funny, funny girl.