Alexis : Fighter, Defender, Protector

Alexis was always a fighter, ALWAYS. There were times when she was younger that she got really ill and we weren’t sure what the outcome would be. At the time I didn’t realize how serious these situations were. The first was on Feb. 8, 1993. Alexis was almost a year old and this was actually my due date with Sammy.  Alexis had been sick with a cold and I called the pediatrician to get a refill on her cough medicine. As I was talking to the nurse she could hear Alexis in the background and said I needed to bring her in. When I arrived at the doctor’s office on that cold February afternoon I was ushered to back without having to wait. This VIP treatment alarmed me somewhat but I wasn’t really worried about Alex, she was laughing and playing between coughs. The doctor rushed in and put her stethoscope to Alexis’ chest and asked me how long she had been this way and I said for a couple of days. She called in the nurse and had her do a breathing treatment immediately and said this was a critical situation and we needed to get Alexis to the hospital immediately. I was in shock because from all outward appearances Alexis seemed fine other than the cough and the doctor was acting if she was on the verge of death. I began to cry as the doctor called the hospital to get us a room. Alexis was diagnosed with severe infant asthma and spent a week in the hospital. The respiratory therapist said he had never seen a baby fight like Alexis, She HATED the breathing treatments. He always needed help to give her the treatment and would laugh that he couldn’t hold down this FEISTY baby. After that one critical bout with asthma Alexis never had another episode.( A friend I taught with , who knew Alexis’ strong willed personality even at that young age, said Alexis was just not going to let anyone steal her thunder since I was due with Sammy that day, she was determined to keep the attention on herself : ))))

The next scare in the life of Alexis was when she was about two and developed a lump in her lymph node . It alarmed our pediatrician and we were sent to a surgeon to have the lymph node removed and biopsied. This was a very frightening time because we all were scared that Alexis might have cancer. She pulled through the surgery fine and the biopsy came back benign but it was another scare and we were told to watch her closely. As with the asthma, after this one alarming event she never had another issue with her lymph nodes.

Life went smoothly for a little bit but the next event would prove to be the most traumatic for me but would reflect the fight and strength within Alexis. We were living in Rockwall and I was teaching in Campbell . Alex and Sammy weren’t in school yet and Hailey had just completed second grade when this happened. During the summer of that year Hailey had spent the night with a friend in Campbell and on Saturday I was going to drive to pick her up. Alexis wanted to ride with me but I told her no. She got upset but I stood my ground and went back in the house to finish getting ready. I don’t recall what Sammy and Warner were doing but they must have been around the house somewhere.  A little while later as I was about to leave I went on the porch and looked around for Alexis to say goodbye but didn’t see her. As I turned to go back in to find her I heard a faint although frantic scream. I paused because I couldn’t tell where it was coming from, it appeared to be muffled. I started calling her name but would have to stop and stand completely still to hear her. It was the cries and screams of someone in danger but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. I frantically ran to our shed, I ran to the street, and around the porch screaming her name. I began to cry because I was so scared and couldn’t find her. Her screams were fading, I knew she was in deep trouble but I just couldn’t find her.  I stood on our driveway and concentrated on listening as the whispered screams came one more time. This time it was clearer, I knew I was near. I turned toward my car and walked towards it and heard her better. I grabbed my keys as fast as I could and opened my trunk and there was my baby, screaming for her life, barely breathing. The heat of being stuck in the trunk on that hot July day almost killed her. I picked her up as she gulped in the fresh air through her tears.  We ran in the house and I got a damp cool washcloth and started to wash her sweating face off. As a parent this was my worst moment until Alexis actually died. The fear I felt knowing how close I was to losing her.  She was about to pass out and I know God’s timing was perfect. She didn’t like that I told her “No” so being the strong willed child she was she went through my backseat and “hid” in my trunk. She pulled the seat back to its position so I wouldn’t know. She was going to Campbell with me !!!!  But the seat locked and couldn’t be pushed down from inside the trunk so she was trapped. But she NEVER gave up. What a fighter !!!

These were my thoughts today. I was just thinking how much of a fighter she was. She never lost that fighting spirit and it got her in a lot of trouble at times but I really admired her for that. If you were her family or friend she would defend you to the end : )) I named her well : Alexis means defender or protector and as I looked up the biblical meaning of OWL I found this , which was so very fitting : ))) Heb. bath-haya'anah, "daughter of shouting." Alexis could  certainly shout : ))

There were times I worried about Alexis.  I know it will seem silly but I worried because she was the middle child. Maybe it was because my brother David was a middle child and he committed suicide. Growing up in a dysfunctional alcoholic family I knew the roles  the children  of alcoholics played because I acted out those roles myself :  The oldest being the Hero ( Kathey) , the middle being the Scapegoat ( David), and the youngest being the mascot ( Me). I eventually played all these roles as everyone died.  As I became a drug addict myself those dysfunctional roles invaded my children as well. For some unexplained reason I always had a deep knot of fear about Alexis, I never thought she would commit suicide she was too strong for that but in my irrational thoughts based on my history I was scared something might happen. I didn’t voice it, and I rebuked it , but it was ALWAYS  there . Thinking back maybe it was something I knew deep within my soul .  Maybe in a way God prepared my heart for her  death at such a young age………………………….. I just don’t know but I do know she has made a huge impact in her life and her death. I will cling to that and the knowledge that I will see her one day and she will welcome me into Heaven with open arms when my time comes. As a Facebook friend said “ I think Alexis is on “the welcome committee” in Heaven.