Splendor in the Grass

Splendor in the Grass

 What though the radiance

 which was once so bright

 Be now for ever taken from my sight,

 Though nothing can bring back the hour

 Of splendor in the grass,

 of glory in the flower,

 We will grieve not, rather find

 Strength in what remains behind;

 In the primal sympathy

 Which having been must ever be;

 In the soothing thoughts that spring

 Out of human suffering;

 In the faith that looks through death,

 In years that bring the philosophic mind.

-- William Wordsworth

I can’t believe it has been a year since Alexis Rose to be with Jesus.  Last year I thought time would stand still when her life ended and I couldn’t imagine moving forward but I’ve learned that time not only flies when you’re having fun but when you’re grieving as well.  Through this grief her presence has comforted us  and I have seen, felt , and heard  her at times unexpected:  in a rose beginning to bloom, in a soft  gentle breeze, in hope and colors of a rainbow after a storm , in  the faint hoot of an owl ,  and in the melody of  her favorite songs.  There have been countless blessings from her to let us know she is at peace and watching over us.

I miss her so but her spirit lives on and there is no place that is more evident than in Riley. Riley’s connection with God has inspired me throughout this year. When I felt like giving up God would shine through Riley so very brightly giving me the courage and strength to take one more step or to just breathe. 

There have been so many milestones and celebrations this year:  With the death of Alexis Riley was considered an orphan because her father was absent. This broke my heart  but in September  Warner and I were granted temporary custody of her which eased our minds and we  decided to begin the adoption process,  Alexis was a registered donor and donated all she could to help others  because of this  there was a reception honoring those who gave the gift of life around Thanksgiving,   Alexis was  even part of the Rose Bowl  Parade where a rose was placed on the Journey of the Heart float in her honor , my friend Lisa Durbin Cortez got close up pictures ( even a photo of Alexis’ rose)  and sent me a tulip from the float ( she didn’t realize at the time how significant the tulip was to my Alexis Rose , so I knew Alexis was there ) , on March 1^st   ,which was Alexis’ 21^st birthday,  Warner and I finalized our adoption of Riley becoming her parents and changing her name to Riley Nicole Washington which was  something Alexis wanted more than anything,  and in April a beautiful memorial was donated by DLIS with a cross and three knock out rose bushes so we can always remember our vibrant Alexis Rose .

There was a photo taken of Riley dancing at the crash site as the men worked on the memorial behind her. This photo speaks volumes. This sweet precious child dancing with joy in the place where her mommy died was the perfect picture of redemption.  As I looked at this photo it reminded me of the Phoenix – the long lived bird from Greek mythology that obtains new life and is reborn by arising from the ashes of its predecessor.   Riley dancing in the same spot where Alexis rose to be with Jesus was just beautiful. She is the Phoenix.  Thinking of these blessings bring a smile to my face and joy to my heart.  That is how I want to spend this anniversary, looking for the good God has brought from her death.

 Riley dancing where her momma died

In March of last year Riley began staying with Jen Bernal ( I knew Jen from church but  I mostly knew her because of my relationship with her mother Twila,  which is another amazing God story in itself) .  I will never forget the day Alexis, Sammy, Riley, and I drove over there to meet her and discuss her watching Riley. Alexis was so excited because Jen had children for Riley to play with and there would finally be consistency. Of course now we know it was a divine appointment from God because of all that happened. Riley feels as if she belongs to their family. She fits right in and is so comfortable there. She feels and knows she is loved.  Jen and Richard have been a huge blessing to me throughout this past year offering their home for Riley whenever I needed it. God is so good.

As I thought about a memorial for Alexis’ I wanted it to be filled with hope, strength and courage.  And I wanted something tangible to represent that.  Jen created this for me and I will hand them out at the memorial tonight.  I think it captures the beauty that remains in the midst of our sorrow in such a stunning way.  She told me the five doves represent the losses I have experienced and ultimately overcome: the four smaller doves represent momma, daddy, Kathey, and David with the larger dove being Alexis.  Seeing Riley, seemingly without a care in the world, running through a field kissed by the newness of spring with her arms stretched out and opened to all that God has to offer brought tears to my eyes.  It is as if the doves of my sorrow are putting a hedge of protection around her. She shines with the vibrancy of youth and is surrounded by love and God’s spirit. There is no doubt in my mind that Riley will continue to SOAR on wings like eagles throughout her life. It is a blessing to me  that God chose me take this journey with her.

It has been a tough year but  through it all we have watched a little blue eye blonde not only survive but thrive and through this God has increased our faith  showing us what  the phrase FAITH LIKE A CHILD means. Riley has helped us accept the kingdom of God as a child.

Matthew 19:14

But Jesus called for the children, saying, “Let the little children come to me. Don’t stop them, because the kingdom of God belongs to people who are like these children.  17 I tell you the truth, you must accept the kingdom of God as if you were a child, or you will never enter it.”