There are moments that mark your life ( Part 1 )
Susan Washington
There are moments that mark your life, moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same, Time is divided into two parts: “before this moment and after this moment.”
I was still teaching a Life Skills Class at Lakeview Centennial High School in Garland. I got up (although to be honest I don’t think I had gone to sleep because of the drugs rushing through my system and mind) and got ready to leave for work. Earlier in the week, I had learned that Child Protective Services had talked to all three of my children at school. They were scared, but I was terrified. I had called CPS the day of the visit and had planned on going to their office to speak to them, but even the best laid plans tend to go by the wayside when you are doing drugs. I never made it. As I looked in the mirror as I was walking out the front door, I didn’t even recognize the girl looking back at me. I was so very tired and beyond worn out. Being a drug addict is exhausting. It’s an endless cycle that never stops. You’re never satisfied. You think, “Okay, if I can just get some more drugs, then I will be okay.” When you do get your drugs, however, you are suddenly worried about running out and worried about where you will get more. It was never-ending and grueling on my mind, body, and soul. As I walked out the door and got in my car, I sighed heavily and drove to school. Little did I know, as I drove away that day looking at my home in the rear view mirror, I would never return to my home again. I would never, ever set foot inside of it again.
Meth is a horrible, horrible drug. It makes you distracted. You start things you never finish. You focus on something so insignificant for hours and never get anything accomplished. (I completely disassembled a computer because I couldn’t log on to the Internet, I beat up the transmission of a perfectly good car,, and the vacuum cleaner was always a target of my inappropriate focus). So that morning, as usual, I drove to school in a rush. It was a Thursday, and on Thursdays we took our students out to eat at different restaurants. In our Life Skills class, we spent a lot of time on basic living skills: eating out, shopping at the grocery store, counting money, and going to work. The students had various jobs within the community to teach employment skills. Thursdays were a favorite for everyone. That particular Thursday we went to Spring Creek BBQ off of 190 and 78 for lunch. (The significance of eating there this day and my later getting a job at Dickey’s BBQ right up the road would be meaningful to me. I would come full circle then, and to be honest, I have come full circle so often I feel as if I am running around in circles most the time.)
After arriving at school, we began our day and started prepared for our field trip . Field Trips were a lot of fun, but also a lot of work. Many of the students were in wheelchairs and a few wore diapers, so we had to make sure everyone was changed and ready to go. There were also students with specific medical needs to be addressed before we left. Finally, with everyone ready and excited, we loaded the bus and were on our way. We went to the grocery store first to buy a few items, then we were off to the restaurant. After eating, we loaded back into the bus and returned to the school. As we pulled into the parking lot, I noticed my car was still there, which surprised me because my husband was supposed to come get it. We were down to the one car that my father had given us. (Our other car had been totaled and we had let our insurance lapse.) As I walked into my classroom, I decided to call my husband to see why he had not come to get the car (. We were also down to one phone so I called our prepaid cell phone praying we still had minutes on it. ) The phone rang a few times and then a man whose voice I didn’t recognize answered. I asked for Warner and he said Warner wasn’t available.
“Who is this?” I asked. It was the Rockwall County Sheriff’s department and he informed me that my husband and two other people had been arrested for manufacturing Meth at my home. They wanted to talk to me. I didn’t know what to do, so I just hung up the phone. Looking around and feeling panicked, I knew I needed to get out of that school. I needed to figure out what was going on. I needed to leave that school because I was scared they were on their way to arrest me. I had drugs in my car and they need to disappear.
My assistant walked into the room, and I hurriedly told her that I had an emergency and must to leave. As I walked out of my classroom and said goodbye to my students, I had no idea I would never see any of them again. As was the case with my home, I never stepped back inside that school again. Or any school for that matter. That was my very last day as a teacher.
I hurried to the parking lot to get in my car. Meth tends to make people very paranoid. As I was walking, I looked around skittishly, panicked there were policemen watching and waiting to arrest me. I got into my car and drove away. At this point I really wasn’t sure what was going on. All I knew is that I had talked to someone who said he was with the Rockwall Sheriff’s Department. My husband did not come get the car. He did not have our phone. I was terrified.
To be continued.....................................
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