From the Heart of Alexis-What an amazing heart she had:)
Susan Washington
Here are two more excerpts from Alexis' journal. What I love the most as I read these is the simplicity and the depth of them at the same time. They reveal a childlike quality which is so charming and they also reveal the wisdom and understanding of a young woman who was wise beyond her very short 20 years. What is amazing about someones writing is you can "hear" their voice through it, Alexis' voice is so apparent and I am so thankful for that.
I have a really funny story that goes along with one of these journals. Alexis and I laughed until we cried about this. Alexis had gotten a ticket and really couldn't afford to pay it since she didn't have a job yet. She was really stressed and made the decision to sit the ticket out in jail. They told her she would have to sit it out for four days ( I think they were trying to deter her from that and have her make a payment plan) . She felt four days was a long time but she accepted it and started to plan. The plan was to turn herself in on a Friday and stay through the weekend. It takes a lot of preparation to go to jail when you have a three year old and she was getting prepared. Riley and her well being were most important to Alexis. Jill was going to keep Riley Friday night and let her spend the night and watch her Sat since Warner and I work. Then Warner could keep her Sunday and I on Monday. I thought they might let her out early and give her double time or something but if she had to stay to Tuesday we would figure it out. Everything was in place and the dreaded Friday came. Honestly I wondered if she would do it, sitting in the Wylie jail for four days would be very boring and I knew time would go slow. I thought she might call and put it off but she didn't . As I said she was determined.
She called me as she drove to the Wylie Jail to turn herself in and I told her how proud I was that she was taking responsibility. We hung up and I was just so impressed with her. There weren't too many 20 year olds who would turn themselves in for a ticket , they would wait until they got pulled over and had a warrant for their arrest probably thinking it would never happen to them but she knew she couldn't take that chance with Riley. She was being so responsible about this and that warmed my heart to see her heart.
After we talked I returned to my work and didn't think much more about it . My phone began to ring about an hour after I had talked to Alexis and I was surprised it was her, she was supposed to be in jail. I answered and she was crying uncontrollably which really scared me but I finally got her to calm down. She told me they wouldn't let her go to jail because she didn't have a warrant and even though she begged them they kept saying "no".:)) I could just picture her crying begging them to let her in jail !!I even got a little upset with them about the whole situation then I began to comfort her telling her I would call and see if I could plead her case so she could go to jail. As I said the sentence I began to laugh hysterically about the conversation we were having.
The irony of the circumstances hit me like a ton of bricks :) It was just a crazy situation:) My 19 year old daughter was crying and so upset because they wouldn't let her go to jail. She was genuinely distraught when normally people are distraught when they get arrested . I was thinking only in my family would this be. Alexis began to laugh through her tears also at how backwards the situation was. I told her to go back to the jail and just make a payment plan. I would make the first payment for her and we would figure out the rest. She returned and they called me and I put it on my debit card. She did pay off that ticket according to her plan and never asked me for another dime for it. What a precious memory of a preciously unique girl.
She was becoming very responsible. She had such determination and drive. Her parenting teacher , Ms. Chapman, once told me she never worried about Alexis because Alexis had an amazing strength within her and she knew she would be okay even though she made some mistakes along the way, she knew when it was all said and done that her determination and drive would set Alexis apart and it certainly did. Her excerpts are below :))
The scripture below is fitting for Alexis life and her death. He was making a new life in her and that is being revealed through her writing and her memory. She was fighting the hard fight and now there has been a lavish celebration in Heaven and she won’t have anymore hard times, no more pain or tears. That brings me joy knowing she is at peace. I love how she wrote out in Big Letters “LIVE HATE FREE” WOW !! She was such a precious gift !!
2 Corinthians 4 (The Message)
16-18So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.
Reader Comments (1)
I remember that weekend. I went out to get the mail, saw Alexis and Riley outside and went to talk to them, I had invited Alexis to hangout and she said "Can't this weekend, I'm gonna be in jail." She said it so matter-of-factly... I was a bit shocked, I asked her what she planned to do to to get herself landed in jail.. She then explained about turning herself in. When they wouldn't let her in, we did end up hanging out. I'm so glad I got to have her in my life everyday. I miss her so much!