Let them fall ! Let them fail ! In doing so they may soar later.

Let people fail! Let people fall! In doing so they may soar later. When we run to their rescue , interfering with the natural consquences to their choices we limit them.  Most likely they will fall harder and further later on . Negative things happen in life and we HAVE to learn to respond to them in responsible ways.  Let the chips fall where they may.  We learn valubale lessons from the consequences of our and others actions both postive and negative. 

 As I drove to work today I was thinking about thinking: ))  Well I was really thinking about how the mind works and the thought process changes as a result of consequences. As I turned left onto Ballard Street from Highway 78 I noticed Jimmy’s 3500 Dodge Ram Truck parked at his Farmers Insurance office, he got another one after the accident. I always look that way  so I can wave if he is outside. Usually his truck is the only vehicle there but today parked by  the recording studio next to his office  was a tan Buick, it looked a lot like Alexis’ car. It made me think of the accident and I wondered if  Jimmy thought about  it too so I said a little prayer for us both  and drove on down Parker road.  I was behind a truck going VERY slow and began to get irritated thinking about passing him. But as soon as that thought came I immediately thought back to Jimmy’s truck and the car that looked like Alexis’ which of course reminded me of the accident.  The idea of passing the truck was dismissed.  Even if I was running late, which I wasn’t, nothing was that important. Passing him was a dangerous risk on a dangerous road that I didn’t need to take. My experience of losing  my daughter Alexis affected my thinking and my choice. Alexis chose to speed that day and the consequence of that choice was the loss of her life. I probably would have passed him before she died. But my mind works differently now. I learned from the consequences of her choice that day.

A bit later I pulled up to the light at Parker and Country Club.   I immediately looked over at the Sonic drive to see if there was a motorcycle sheriff then I looked back down Country Club to see if one was parked there. It was after 9 so I knew I could turn right on red but since I got the ticket for turning right on red at the wrong time I look for Collin County Sheriff’s each day . Since that ticket , it cost me $285, I NEVER turn right on red before nine even when people behind me honk and  flip me off whether there is an officer or not.  I just smile in my rear view mirror and point to the sign and many times to the cops sitting there waiting. Before the ticket I didn’t think twice about that law, everyone broke it by turning right on red at all times, so I did too although the sign clearly says not to. But the consequence of the ticket changed my behavior and it has stuck. This ticket made me take an inventory and I want to strive to be the type of person that does the right thing whether anyone is watching or not . Even though I really don’t agree with that law ( I don’t see why we can’t turn right on red at all times there is a clear view), it is the law none the less and I need to obey it. When I approach that intersection I am always aware now because of the consequences of getting that ticket. This got me  thinking about natural consequences  to our choices and how so often  we try to intervene and save ourselves, our loved ones, and especially our children  from feeling any discomfort .  We try to save them from the trouble they have caused for themselves  when in reality the natural consequence might save them from more trouble later on.

I wonder what would have happened if back in May of 2002 when I got a ticket for drug paraphernalia  if I would have gotten arrested instead of just getting a ticket. I begged the officer to let me go promising that the paraphernalia was left over from when I used before ( which was a lie) . I cried and he relented. He was supposed to arrest me but he gave me a chance that I didn’t deserve .  I left got more drugs and in 9 days had a new felony charge. A misdemeanor ticket would not have revoked my probation but the felony possession charge did. I got in a lot more trouble later because I was spared from the trouble before with just the ticket. Maybe if I had been arrested that day my eyes would have been opened and I would have changed what I was doing.  Of course I am responsible for my actions and his kindness was thoughtful but sometimes we hurt people more by trying to protect them from the consequences of their choices. So I say let them fail, let them fall. Love them and be there for them but don’t save them from the choices they make. Don’t run to their rescue. I think if we let them fall now they may soar later  learning to confront their problems by acting responsibly and with acceptance instead of  thinking they will get out of their trouble with power and manipulation.