Monday
Oct072013
Identity
Susan Washington
Last week I took Riley over to Kenen’s before church , she is watching her for the day because Warner and I both had to work. They all were going to the second and third services. As I was running to my car after the 9:30 service I heard a high pitched little girl with a strong Texas accent calling “Momma, Momma” . I immediately knew that call was for me. I turned and saw Riley running to me and I ran to meet her . We hugged each other tightly. As we waved goodbye she smiled at me and said “I’ll see you tonight Momma”
Tears formed in my eyes as I walked to my car. Tears of joy as well as sorrow because I am now so comfortable in my identity as “Riley’s Momma”. This realization made me miss Alexis that much more.
The thought of my identity reminded me of prison and how easy it is to forget who we were and how easily our identity can be changed. I thought back to the day I was walking from the library on my unit to the chow hall and I heard some inmates calling “Mrs. Washington, Mrs. Washington” I continued on my way because it didn’t even click that I was Mrs. Washington , in my mind I was Offender 1130254. The girls were persistent and I finally stopped on the white line I was required to walk on and paused wondering if they could be calling me . It then dawned on me that I was Mrs. Washington but I couldn’t really remember when that was who I was because I was usually Susan. Then it all came back and putting my hands on my head I said to myself “ I was Mrs. Washington when I taught school” I slowly turned around to see two of my former students running ( quite excitedly I might add ) to me exclaiming “ Mrs. Washington we are so surprised to see you here in prison “ ( Honestly I wasn’t that surprised to see them ). We talked a moment and then I advised them to behave better in prison than they did in middle school and I continued onto the chow hall:))
I laugh at that story now, honestly I laughed at it then. For some reason I thought of that today as Riley ran saying “Momma , Momma” , but today there was no hesitation I knew exactly who Momma was from the second I heard her little voice , it was just so natural . Then I began thinking of the many identities that I have and have had. But what I was so thankful for is in the moment I heard her little voice I knew she was calling me and there was no doubt because just a year and three months ago I would not have responded to Momma from her because I was Mimi.
So many emotions rose up within me that I decided to stop by the crash site and say hello to Alexis Rose . As I looked at her beautiful memorial the realization soaked in that throughout our lives our identities and the hats we wear will continuously change but there is one identity that will remain the same , that I am a child of the one true KING.
Tears formed in my eyes as I walked to my car. Tears of joy as well as sorrow because I am now so comfortable in my identity as “Riley’s Momma”. This realization made me miss Alexis that much more.
The thought of my identity reminded me of prison and how easy it is to forget who we were and how easily our identity can be changed. I thought back to the day I was walking from the library on my unit to the chow hall and I heard some inmates calling “Mrs. Washington, Mrs. Washington” I continued on my way because it didn’t even click that I was Mrs. Washington , in my mind I was Offender 1130254. The girls were persistent and I finally stopped on the white line I was required to walk on and paused wondering if they could be calling me . It then dawned on me that I was Mrs. Washington but I couldn’t really remember when that was who I was because I was usually Susan. Then it all came back and putting my hands on my head I said to myself “ I was Mrs. Washington when I taught school” I slowly turned around to see two of my former students running ( quite excitedly I might add ) to me exclaiming “ Mrs. Washington we are so surprised to see you here in prison “ ( Honestly I wasn’t that surprised to see them ). We talked a moment and then I advised them to behave better in prison than they did in middle school and I continued onto the chow hall:))
I laugh at that story now, honestly I laughed at it then. For some reason I thought of that today as Riley ran saying “Momma , Momma” , but today there was no hesitation I knew exactly who Momma was from the second I heard her little voice , it was just so natural . Then I began thinking of the many identities that I have and have had. But what I was so thankful for is in the moment I heard her little voice I knew she was calling me and there was no doubt because just a year and three months ago I would not have responded to Momma from her because I was Mimi.
So many emotions rose up within me that I decided to stop by the crash site and say hello to Alexis Rose . As I looked at her beautiful memorial the realization soaked in that throughout our lives our identities and the hats we wear will continuously change but there is one identity that will remain the same , that I am a child of the one true KING.
— with Alexis Rose Washington.
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