Novalee Nation: You tell them that our lives can change with every breath

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The mind is an amazing mysterious thing. I've said this before : one of my favorite quotes of all times came from the book "A Prayer for Owen Meany"
“Your memory is a monster; you forget—it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you—and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you!”
― John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany.

I read this book during my unfortunate incarceration:)) And there is such truth to this quote , it has resonated with my life so very often. For most of my adult life memories ( usually sad and tragic) would come to the surface of my mind without warning causing such emotional pain all I wanted to do was escape. My method of escape was drugs. How cunning, baffling, and powerful drug addiction is: what began as my escape from my painful reality ultimately imprisoned me both literally and figuratively causing much deeper pain for myself and my loved ones.

Of course that was before I knew the Lord, now I run to him when I'm hurting as I did this morning when a memory surfaced. He is my refuge and my healer!! He is the only way.

Riley was waving a little American Flag as she was waiting to go to school and singing the word "Americus" over and over with as much patriotism as a four year old can muster:)) Smiling and laughing internally because she was so cute and her use of the word Americus just topped it off :)) I paused as I repeated that word in my head knowing I knew it from somewhere then immediately I thought of Alexis and a movie she LOVED since she was a young girl: "Where the Heart Is" which she called the Walmart baby movie:))) I thought of the many parallels between Alexis' life and that of the main character in the movie: Novalee . Novalee named her baby Americus. The plot was basically about a pregnant teen who rebuilds her life after much hardship. Alexis was rebuilding her life at the time of her death and had experienced much hardship in her young life some brought on by herself and some from the choices made by others ( me for one). That is the way it always is, our choices whether good or bad have an effect on so many others. I picture a domino effect : positive or negative it can domino either way.

It is a memory that made me happy and sad at the same time. It was summoned to my mind without warning when precious Riley was singing the word "Americus". Thankful for the recollection because I can picture the excitement on Alexis' face when that movie would come on. She could recite every line from it I'm sure:) I can't believe I had forgotten about her love for that. I'm sure there are many more memories hidden in the recesses of my mind waiting to be unlocked at a time determined by God, at a time when I'm ready for them and can recognize the joy buried in the sadness as I was able to do with this one:)

"Novalee Nation: You tell them that our lives can change with every breath we take... and tell 'em to hold on like hell to what they've got: each other, and a mother who would die for them and almost did... You tell them we've all got meanness in us, but we've got goodness too. And the only thing worth living for is the good. And that's why we've got to make sure we pass it on