Sunday
Jul082012
It's been a month and a day since Alexis died.
Susan WashingtonWow I can't believe it has been a month and a day since Alexis died. It still seems unreal. What has been heavy on my mind tonight is just thinking of those moments when you pass from life to death. She was here once second and gone the next. I am resting in her bed just remembering her and wondering about those last seconds. I think it happened so fast she didn't know what hit her and I don't th...ink she suffered , for that I am thankful.
It is just that she is gone. I was looking at her 100 bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and face wash :)) remembering the endless conversations that we had about her skin. I would assure her that when she got older she would appreciate the oily skin that caused her such embarrassment in her teens because she would look young. She didn't want to hear it , she just wanted clear skin. She was so mad that she was 20 and still breaking out. Tonight , sadly I thought she will never grow older to see that I was right :)
What was really strange is I saw her on Tuesday June 5th and her face was broken out, she was even telling me about another product she wanted to try to clear up her skin. On Thursday when I saw her after she died her skin was clear, not a blemish. This was much more noticeable at the funeral home on Friday after she had been cleaned up. I was amazed that her skin was so clear. I think that was a God thing, I really do. She looked as if she was sleeping peacefully and her skin was beautiful. There was a softness to her that made me want to embrace her. That was a gift to all of us :)) I just knew she would be so happy to finally have clear skin. So thankful to God for how he has and continues to reveal himself to me during this time. I just miss her so very much and sad that the future that was looking so much brighter for her ended abruptly. But honestly her future is brighter than ever now because she is living with the Lord and has no more pain. She is in a better place and I will see her one day and when that day comes it will be as if we were never apart.
Revelation 21
4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
At one time I was somewhat frightened to die but now I'm not. Sammy and I discussed that tonight . And really our time on this earth is nothing compared to eternity, it is a flash . So although I was sad ( and that is normal ) I am full of hope and joy knowing God is the leader of my life , trusting HIS plan although I don't understand it. My faith is so strong and I BELIEVE. Faith is like wind , you can't see it but you know it is there.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
I love that :))
It is just that she is gone. I was looking at her 100 bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and face wash :)) remembering the endless conversations that we had about her skin. I would assure her that when she got older she would appreciate the oily skin that caused her such embarrassment in her teens because she would look young. She didn't want to hear it , she just wanted clear skin. She was so mad that she was 20 and still breaking out. Tonight , sadly I thought she will never grow older to see that I was right :)
What was really strange is I saw her on Tuesday June 5th and her face was broken out, she was even telling me about another product she wanted to try to clear up her skin. On Thursday when I saw her after she died her skin was clear, not a blemish. This was much more noticeable at the funeral home on Friday after she had been cleaned up. I was amazed that her skin was so clear. I think that was a God thing, I really do. She looked as if she was sleeping peacefully and her skin was beautiful. There was a softness to her that made me want to embrace her. That was a gift to all of us :)) I just knew she would be so happy to finally have clear skin. So thankful to God for how he has and continues to reveal himself to me during this time. I just miss her so very much and sad that the future that was looking so much brighter for her ended abruptly. But honestly her future is brighter than ever now because she is living with the Lord and has no more pain. She is in a better place and I will see her one day and when that day comes it will be as if we were never apart.
Revelation 21
4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
At one time I was somewhat frightened to die but now I'm not. Sammy and I discussed that tonight . And really our time on this earth is nothing compared to eternity, it is a flash . So although I was sad ( and that is normal ) I am full of hope and joy knowing God is the leader of my life , trusting HIS plan although I don't understand it. My faith is so strong and I BELIEVE. Faith is like wind , you can't see it but you know it is there.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
I love that :))
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