Alexis Rose- Unconditional Love :)
Susan WashingtonThe journal below was so very special to me and really touched my heart. It shows how deeply Alexis loved . At times she had trouble demonstrating that love with me at least. She never had trouble showing Riley her love. It was like with Riley she could let her guard down and her unconditional love would flow freely. All I know is that when she questioned her decision and she said " Maybe she should have given Riley to a normal family" I thought no way. Her love for Riley was and is so obvious and because of that unconditional love Riley feels secure in who she is. Just yesterday she talked about how much Alexis loves her and then said " Mi Mi , there are a lot of people who love me" and I asked her who and she said ( in this order : )) : Momma, Mi Mi, Papa, Hailey, Sammy , Shelby, Tony, and Kendall Grace and Grandma and Grandy then she looked like she was thinking hard . Smiling I told her there were so many people who loved her and thought about her everyday. She smiled sweetly and then we talked about her birthday party which will be a " Hello Kitty " theme party. She is very excited but wanted it clear that she still LOVES princesses.
All I know is Alexis made the right decision, there is no doubt in my mind. Even though she was so young she was a wonderful mother. I will always think of Alexis laying on her bed while she was pregnant playing Beethoven with the headphones attached to her protruding belly so Riley would hear classical music because Alexis had heard it was good for the baby to listen to that type of music. Then after Riley was born and school began she continued nursing all the way until Jan. She started her junior year carrying a back pack to school and a breast pump. I don't think I was ever more proud of her . She wanted to do what was best for Riley ,and didn't care what others thought. I dont' know if anyone ever teased her, I doubt it because she would have kicked their butt, but Alexis was determined to nurse Riley for 7 months and did. I am still amazed with that.
Alexis made the right decision and we have a beautiful gift that is part of Alexis and I am so very thankful for that. God's hand was all over this and I can't imagine life without our Riley Roo. Thank you Alexis Rose for one of the greatest gifts of all, you will live on in our memories forever and through Riley. This journal is SO Alexis , it shows her deep abiding love for her dad and Riley and then it jumps to her anger at Riley's father because she just couldn't understand how he couldn't care when she loved Riley so very deeply. Alexis emotions ran very deep.
Another picture that came to my mind was when we were leaving the hospital to take Riley home and Alexis began to cry and she looked at me imploringly so scared she couldn't do it , she was scared she wouldn't be a good mother. I hugged her and told her she would do great , that I believed in her and I really did. That fear was unfounded because she was a wonderful Mom and my goal is to keep that memory alive for Riley. I know the memory will fade but Riley will have this journal, thousands of photos , and the memorial video which I believes captures their love for one another with such amazing grace, it shows God's amazing grace in all situations and Romans 8:28 is lived out again in our lives. Trusting God and His Word through this time and he constantly meets me and comforts me as only HE can.
Romans 8:28
New Living Translation (NLT)
28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Reader Comments (2)
One day during mrs. Michalow's class she was putting the headphones on her belly and we noticed she had a rash. Freaking out we told the teacher and she let us go to the nurse. It turned out the constant taping and untaping just irritated her skin, but it was sweet how she worried about Riley. I think it would be really neat to print out all the posts Alexis ever wrote about Riley and put them in a book for her. Even though she didn't write it with her hand, and when Riley is older Facebook will be long gone, at least she will have the thoughts of her mommy to read and know how incredibly much she was loved.
I think that is an awesome idea Haley.