Accentuate the positive :)

Here is what I hope I have learned from the death of Alexis:  To love and encourage at all times and look for the blessing in every situation because there ALWAYS is one.

 As I drove to work in the rain I thought back to the day she died and I wondered “What If?”  , a very futile game to play but I played it none the less. I thought “What if Alexis didn’t die that day?” “What if she wrecked but was okay ,  totaling her car and jeopardizing her job , but she was okay?”

 Looking at it from my viewpoint NOW  I would be praising the Lord that she was fine,  SO THANKFUL  that she was alive and still with me. The material and practical things don’t matter when you think about someone’s life and their death but I WONDERED how I would have reacted without the experience of losing her . If I hadn’t lost her I wouldn’t miss her and know this hole in my heart  so  I BELIEVE I would have been very critical of her focusing on all the mistakes she made, and would have gotten very angry not recognizing  the blessing I had received ,  just focusing on the problems the accident would have caused . WOW !!! your perspective on everything sure changes when  you lose a child.

That is what I want to change about ME, I want to look at every situation and focus on the blessings and good that is in it. I want to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. That is what I will try to do from this point forward and let everyone I LOVE know it.

So to continue in that vein I will focus on the blessings that have come from Alexis’ death:  The most important one being all the ones who raised their hands to ask Jesus into their hearts at her service. If one soul is saved through her death it is worth it because I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT I will see her again and it will seem like we never were apart. In a blink of an eye we will be together again.  And until we meet again I am so thankful for her life and the photos left behind. This one she took at her last birthday party. It makes me laugh . What a blessing it is to laugh .

Those pesky small foxes,THANK GOD I just caught some more : ))))

Song of Solomon 2:15

Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom

Not too long ago I got a ticket for turning right on red between the hours of 7-9 a.m. at Parker and Country Club near Wylie Texas.  This is the route I always take NOW - going through downtown Wylie as it turns into Parker Rd. It is a very pretty scenic drive through the country but it is also very dangerous. There have been numerous fatalities from accidents on Parker Rd. and of course one of those fatalities was my daughter Alexis. For some reason it in more important for me to take this route now so that I can pass the cross on the side of the road with the owl on top.  And each morning I arrive at the intersection in question, the intersection where I got my ticket.

Last week I joked on Facebook that from this point forward I would not turn right on red no matter how much honking or how many hand gestures came my way because this ticket cost me $185. But this morning I was wondering how I got to the point that I just blatantly disregarded this traffic sign. The day I got the ticket I didn’t even think twice. It was 8:50, the light was red,   and no one was coming so I turned right.  In that moment I saw an officer standing next to his motorcycle waving at me to pull into the entrance at Sonic. Even then I wasn’t sure what I had done wrong until he told me of my infraction. I didn’t argue or try and make excuses; I was just somewhat surprised that I wasn’t even aware that I had broken the law.

Today I thought back to how I slowly desensitized myself to this obvious law in place. I recalled in the beginning when I made this my regular route having thoughts that this was really a stupid sign because there was never that much traffic, there is nothing obstructing your view, and it didn’t seem anyone paid attention to it anyway.   EVERY DAY people were turning right on red at all times. My thinking then changed to this must be okay since everyone else is doing it  and I had never seen anyone get in trouble which led me to believe even law enforcement doesn’t want to enforce this ridiculous sign. So I followed suit and just turned right on red at any time I wanted along with my other commuters. At first I would have a twinge of conscience thinking “this isn’t right” but I would quickly dismiss it and remind myself “everyone else is doing it and it is a stupid sign anyway” then I would smile smugly and feel better. As time went on I didn’t even look or think about the sign anymore. I had become so comfortable with this action it was now completely acceptable to me BUT it wasn’t right!! I broke the law knowingly and it got to the point where the little warning bells that go off in my head (my conscience) telling me that I was doing something wrong didn’t go off anymore. I had silenced them with my rationalization and justification. They are now turned back because I got a ticket that hurt and will hurt for a while but I wonder if eventually the pain will fade and I will revert back to my old way of thinking (I think this is why there is so much recidivism in prison) but instead of randomly turning right on red I will look around for an officer of the law and only turn if I won’t get caught.  THIS THOUGHT PROCESS FRIGHTENS ME!!! THIS IS HOW WE GET SO OFF TRACK IN OUR LIVES. IT’S A SLOW FADE……………………………..THIS IS HOW VALUES AND MORALS GET COMPROMISED AND WE DON’T EVEN SEE THE CHANGES IN PLACE..

When I share my testimony I talk about small compromises and this is another example that describes what can happen.  I am just amazed that I fell for this and got so off track when I speak of this so often. But here is where I failed, even though I talk about small compromises I talk about them in the sense of major struggles: drug addiction and theft.  So in the small areas ( minor –misdemeanor traffic violations)  I guess I thought I was immune and this wouldn’t affect my morals, values, and character but it did and it could have gotten so much worse.  

We must have boundaries in place that we will not cross and NOT ONLY  not cross we  CAN’T budge them , we can’t move them even if just slightly. I need to remember that is how I went from Pompons to Prison: ))))))

I am very thankful I got that ticket because it taught me a valuable lesson in the way I think and how my thinking can get so off track.