“Grief doesn’t change you , it reveals you” This is a quote that stood out to me the moment I read it in the book  “A Fault in our Stars”. It is true .  The grief I experienced when my sister died revealed who I really was at that time , who I had been for years. I was holding on desperately  by a thread functioning my way through life. Then her death rocked my world and I couldn’t pretend anymore.  My grief revealed who I  really was stripping away the façade I had created . Then  years later with no tragedy or grief for a while I found the Lord and my life was changed, I was changed literally from the inside out. When my father died  I grieved but didn’t fall apart as I might have if God had not laid a strong foundation in my life , more than anything I was thankful He found the Lord and grateful for the restoration of our relationship  because I had finally accepted that I could not change him. After daddy died I really thought he was the last to die, I know that sounds silly but I felt comfortable in the fact that there would be no more deaths in my immediate family. It made sense to me. Then Alexis died and I was shocked and in utter disbelief. There are still days where I just pause and think “My child has died, I can’t believe I have lost a child” But again the grief has revealed who I am now , I am a child of God and trust HIM with my whole being. Yes there was despair , yes there were tears from places so deep I didn’t know they existed , and yes there was and is unbearable pain but there is always hope . My grief has revealed my hope . My grief doesn’t make me want to shrink back and hide as it did before. My grief wants me to share that with GOD all things are possible, my grief wants me to share the love HE has shown me on this journey. So thankful I am who I am today. I have a long way to go but I have come so far from who I was back then. I am also thankful that the grief from Kathey’s death stripped away  the many masks I wore and the walls I had built up to protect myself because those walls ultimately kept any healing from taking place.  Grief’s from the deaths of two of the most important people in my life  revealing two different people within me that are ultimately the same. It is so true Grief doesn’t change you, it reveals you. Thankful for ongoing change.