As I drove home yesterday I began to think about a girl that I used drugs with, I really don’t know what happened to her or her family but for a while we spent a lot of time together. It was basically a friendship rooted in drugs which is never good but as I thought of her and some of our antics it made me think of this quote. :
“If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” ― Max Ehrmann, Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life.
At that time in my life I compared myself to a lot of people including her and I was deceptive enough to only compare myself to people further along in their addiction so that my use didn’t seem so bad. She was a mess and her life was out of control so when twinges of conscience would suddenly ding in my mind about what I was doing I would shoot them down by comparing myself to people worse off than myself. With each comparison I justified my drug use and as I got worse than those I was comparing myself to I would find someone new until I was in such bondage I didn’t care. Satan had such power in my life and I listened to his voice which for so long said “ Susan, you don’t have a problem look at “ insert name”, that is what a drug addict looks like. You are doing fine and you even quit drinking to boot. Pat yourself on the back . You are doing great” It all sounded good and positive but it was straight from hell and a lie. Satan knew if he could just keep me using he would finally have complete control which he did. Thank God I wasn’t destroyed and my eyes were finally opened to the truth. Don’t compare yourself to others, don't do it; you are you, and that's fine. If you want to improve something about yourself, do so, but don't look at others’ lives to do it. If you feel that your life is out of control just look in the mirror and ask God to reveal the truth to you. Begin to make the changes to a better you. Do it one step at a time because your life didn’t crumble in a day. It takes time to rebuild but it can be done and you can see the progress along the way . And one day you can look back and compare yourself to the old you and see how far God has brought you. That is the most amazing feeling of all to see God’s amazing grace unfolding in your life. It happened to me.
Galations 6: -5 Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.