Isaiah 45 I am the LORD, and there is no other. 7 I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things.Sometimes God has to send a brick through our windows for us to stop and listen to what He is telling us. In our comfort zones, we are often cynical and ignore Him and His Word sent through His servants. But when that comfort zone is rocked, we start looking for Him in panic. Like in everything else, we tend to get too comfortable with God’s ways and eventually allow complacency and compromise with sin to overtake us.
That is when God throws a brick to jolt us back. If that [throwing a brick] is what it takes, God will let some not-so-pleasant things happen to you just to catch your attention and show His glory. But thanks be to God, when He finally has our attention, He is quick to mend the damage!
I read this article this morning and it took me back to when God threw a very large brick in my window which I chose to ignore.
During the fall and winter of 2000, we were “friends” with some people who were drug dealers and users that happened to cook meth. We would help them get the ingredients to make the drug and then they would give us a portion.
Finding the ingredients could be quite a challenge.
When we first met Tyler and his girlfriend, Loretta, it seemed everything was going great for them. They had a lot of money, cars, apartments in town and out of town, and a lot of drugs. To be honest, I thought they were nice people, they were just drug addicts like myself.
The fall of 2000 was hard on them, getting busted twice for manufacturing but making bail both times. I was secretly pulling for them, hoping the lifestyle they were living could work out but as I saw them falling apart I refused to see the truth of the situation: their life was a mirror image of mine. I was just a few months, and a few charges, behind them. In hindsight, this was an incredible gift from God. He allowed me to witness their lives as they slowly self-destructed, hoping I would learn from it. At times I am so in awe of HIS grace and mercy for me, even when I was so disrespectful to HIM.
Despite their run-ins with the law, I was hoping Tyler and Loretta could get it together. When they got busted the third time for manufacturing, I helped them when they got out of jail. I rented them a car and loaned them some money. Their days of money, cars, and even drugs were gone and they had lost everything. Each time they got busted, police confiscated a car, as well as all their cash.
After borrowing money from me, they disappeared. I was desperate to find them and called all the time. I wanted my money or, at the very least, some meth! Finally, one day, I called Tyler’s phone and he answered. I yelled at him and he said he finally had something he could give me. Angry, and intent on being repaid, I drove to meet him at a motel on I-30 in Mesquite.
Before I left my house, Tyler called and asked me to bring a pan - one that would withstand heat – for cooking meth.
Pulling into the parking space at the motel, I paused and thought for a moment. I had an empty 12 pack of cokes in my car and for some reason; I decided to put the Pyrex pan in the 12 pack container. This was not typical behavior for me, as I wasn’t scared of being watched by the police. In my opinion the police needed to be looking for the real criminals! (Manufacturing and using a little meth was not that bad!! I was in such denial!) So I got out of my car, still very angry at Tyler and went and knocked on the door. When he answered my anger melted away, he was a wreck!! He had no money, no food, no cigarettes and he was not having any success at making the meth.
My heart broke for him and I told him to let me run to the store and get him some food and cigarettes. Driving over to the Race Track on Buckner Blvd I just felt bad for him, he had lost everything. I bought the items from the store and drove back to the motel. Tyler and I started talking as he ate his sandwiches; the meth he was attempting to make was in the bathroom. He was talking about how he hoped he was successful this time so he could make some money because he had all these charges against him.
At that time there was a loud knock on the door, banging to be exact. We paused and at that moment the door was broken down and DEA agents flooded the room. They were wearing protective gear and had high-powered guns. I am not a gun expert but they looked like automatic weapons to me. It was like a scene from a movie. They told us to lay on the ground on our stomachs and not move. I guess I wasn’t moving fast enough because a man came and threw me to the ground on my stomach with a gun to my head. I don’t think I have ever been that frightened. They searched the room and took us outside and separated us.
This was the last straw for Tyler, it was his fourth manufacturing charge and although there was no meth manufactured yet, it was obvious what he was doing. They then came and questioned me. The lead officer asked me what I was doing there. He talked about me bringing in the 12 pack of cokes, going to the Race Track (they knew everything I bought down to the last detail so I know they followed me). He asked if I knew what Tyler was doing. I told him that I had come to the motel to get money that Tyler owed me and that, when I arrived, I felt bad for him so I went and bought him some things. (I didn’t tell him I brought him a pan to cook meth in; the coke package saved me on that.) The officer stopped talking to me and went and talked to Tyler then returned. He asked if he could search my car and I nodded.
The search came up clean and then they let me go. I could not believe it, THEY LET ME GO !!!!
Tyler was then loaded into the DEA agent’s car and transported to the Federal Prison in Seagoville, Texas, where he ended up serving a very long sentence. Tyler confirmed that I had nothing to do with his manufacturing. He could have told them I brought him a pan but he chose to protect me.
This was the first brick God ever threw in my window to try and get my attention. I had two choices that day: to change the way I was living my life because I saw where the lifestyle would lead or continue in my addiction. But As I drove away that day, my only thought was “where am I going to get my meth now?”I didn’t recognize or appreciate the blessing that I received that day, I just thought I would always be" lucky." But my luck ran out that day. The string of events that followed that very close call led to my own arrest on April 19th, 2001.
It is not healthy to play the “if only” game in your head. But for the sake of my story, it shows that I could have easily avoided a lot of trouble and legal charges if I would have taken a different path that day.
My hopes are for those hearing my story to see the different forks in the road and try to choose the right way - God’s way - as it is never too late. It is so much easier to learn from other’s mistakes and if God throws a brick in your window stop and take an inventory of your life !!!
After the brick hits your window there is usually a choice to be made, choose HIS way at that time. I chose my own way thinking my “luck” would never run out but the bricks just got larger and more damaging. It was my choice though. Thankfully HE has mended all the damage that I caused.